Traduce Aqui:

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Homeward bound...

(Okay, obviously I'm publishing this from La Roda, but I wrote it as I was homeward bound)

I’m currently on the train from Albany, NY to NYC writing in Word.

This has been a really wonderful visit, although very surreal. I’ve been here in mi tierra but a full continent away from the places I know and love. I’m extremely grateful that my mom was able to fly out here to meet me. I was able to be with some of the people I love most in a place I don’t know, which is really a nice thing because it felt more like a “vacation” in the sense that I was exploring the place as opposed to being at home.

And explore we did! My mom and I took full advantage of Miriam’s little car. I do believe it’s true when Miriam says we know the area better than she does now! It was a lot of fun just driving around and seeing these quaint, quintessentially New England towns. As M put it, they’re almost caricatures of themselves—brick bank buildings, pointy church steeples and little wooden or stone houses with shuttered windows.


Winding through the Berkshires and coming upon these “villages” was lovely and strangely reminded me of Spain. I’m not really sure why that is except perhaps the winding roads and small towns…which could really be anywhere, but somehow, if I imagined that the buildings were white washed stucco with tile roofs, it was Spain. Silly, I guess.

Perhaps it has to do something with the way that this part of the country really does reflect our European roots in a way that the West Coast doesn’t. The prevalence of brick in building and the many beautiful churches remind me of Europe a little bit. In general, it just looks so different from the Sierra Nevada or the Pacific Northwest. It’s beautiful and very different.

This time of year the hills (mountains as they call them) are covered with bare trees. There are really very few evergreens, so the hills take on an eerie skeletal quality that highlights the contours of the terrain in a way you can’t fully appreciate, I’m sure, in other seasons. It’s a very bleak, stark, beauty. The description from Frost’s Birches comes to mind:

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
(...)
Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
(...)
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.

I haven’t seen any trees bent as he describes, however; still, it’s not difficult to imagine.

I do think New England is appropriately named. It seems that linguistically this part of the country has clung to the motherland in ways we Californians never have. The Vermont police cars read “Constable” on the side; we came across a “reduce speed village” sign (really? Village??); and the guide at the museum referred to a man’s “trousers”, not pants. So maybe that had to do a little bit with reminding me of England and Europe by extension.


Another part of the relationship with Europe, in my mind at least, is the amount of history (American history) to be found on this coast and this area in particular. It’s similar to Europe although at the same time quite different, in that just going from town to town you’re very likely to stumble upon Revolutionary War memorials and historic figures’ homes: constant reminders that these states had approximately 100 years of history as a united nation by the time California joined the Union.

Even though the US really is so young compared to Europe, you get a sense of history here similar to that which you experience wandering around Rome and stumbling upon ruins in the middle of the bustling city, or seeing the ubiquitous Moorish fortresses dotting the hills of modern Andalusia. Here in New England it's all much more recent than that, of course, but the feeling is the same: this place has visible remnants of things that were significant, important or pivotal through the course of history.

This has been a good trip to be the first to make in a year. I feel as though my country and I have been rediscovering each other in this week. I’ve explored a region of the US that I never had before, and I am a very changed person since I left. So as I’ve been discovering a new part of the country and remembering aspects of America that carry over state lines, parts of who I’ve become since leaving are simultaneously being revealed to me.

In a nutshell: one week of culture shock, but not necessarily in a negative way.


...Then again, some things never change!

Love from a weary traveler.



Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A pilgrimage:

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

Whose woods are these I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

~ Robert Frost


Pligrimage on a Snowy Evening

Whose house is this, I think I know.
His plot is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his place fill up with snow.

My city car must think it queer
To stop with no dry pavement near
Between Vermont and Williamstown
The snowiest evening of the year.

Its tires spin in snow gone brown
To ask, why dally homeward bound?
The only other sound's the sweep
of easy wind and flakes' drift down.

But the house is empty, locked, and bleak,
And I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
~Viola Wilbanks

I beg permission for a little poetic license.

Yesterday we made an easy 15 min. drive to Bennington, Vermont where, being the good literature major I am, we visited both Robert Frost's grave and his nearby home. I was bemoaning the fact that I had forgotten Miriam's complete book of Frost's work. It just seemed appropriate to read something of his being there.

We did nearly get stuck at his house, since the museum is closed this time of year and the drive wasn't plowed. We've somewhat unexpectedly been caught in the first real snow here in New England this year, and Miriam's little car only has front wheel drive--no 4x4, no snow tires, no chains (in fact, we discovered after a fruitless search in Bennington, VT. that chains are illegal in Massachusetts!)

So on the drive home I certainly did wish to be traveling through the woods on a horse or horse-drawn sleigh. The front wheel drive wasn't cutting it on the way out of town. We actually had to turn around after getting stopped and thus stuck on a hill! After the hunt for chains, we ultimately decided to brave the conditions--very slippery and snowy--to make it back to Williamstown.

It was slow going, but we bought pizza by the slice for the drive, had plenty of water, and even managed to buy a book of "Immortal Poems" at the used bookstore in Bennington before heading out. On the drive we patiently waited at the bottom of each hill for the cars ahead of us to clear the crest so that we could get up speed and, most importantly, NOT stop in order to creep back home. But, it was lovely watching the 'woods fill up with snow' sitting in the warm car, reading and analyzing Frost together; so although it took us about two and a half hours to drive 15 miles, we were in good company, and in no hurry.

Today we spent the afternoon in North Adams mostly to get snow tires put on the car. Amazingly that only took 10 min. and then we were off exploring again. We visited Mass MoCA (Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art), which had some really fun stuff and also got a little shopping out of the way. Angelines had charged me with buying her some Levi's since they're SO expensive in Europe. I must love the girl because spending my vacation hunting through a mall for jeans, isn't exactly my idea of fun! ;)

Now we're back at the Fort cooking for my dear Miss M who is upstairs reading her brains out.

Menu: Butternut squash soup with warm cibatta bread and fresh green salad.

Love from snowy New England!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Willamstown, MA.

On day three state-side and still finding some things shocking. I was scandalized to find out this morning that there is NO grocery store in Williamstown (technically). It's actually in the next town over, which in all fairness is a sort of continuation of the same thing: there's no distinct end of one and beginning of the other. On one side the sign says "entering North Adams" and on the other side of the same sign "entering Williamstown."

The real shock for me, however, was that there's no way to get groceries without a car. I imagine there's SOME kind of public transportation, but my point is you actually cannot walk. I thought Miriam was exaggerating when she told me that this morning, but sure enough as I was driving to the store alone I actually turned around because I thought I must have missed it--it was just TOO far. But in fact I hadn't gone far enough.

Even though in my small town in Spain we do drive about 10-12 min to the supermarket to do monthly shopping, for my daily needs and last min purchases there are a number of shops and even supermarkets in town where I could buy anything I might possibly need and all within a five min walk.

My experience in the car this morning was just a reminder of how wedded Americans really are and actually need to be to their cars. A fact that in and of itself doesn't bother me so much as what it implies in terms of social interactions in public places. In general there are far fewer people on the streets in the US for the simple fact that they need to be in their cars to get their errands done.

This really is perhaps much more a reflection of small towns in the US, however, since it is true that in many cities the situation is similar to Spain in that there are corner grocery markets and people tend to be able to walk to most events/errands if they so choose. In small town USA the need to drive keeps a lot of people out of the streets, whereas in small town Spain a lot of (I would venture to say the majority of) social interaction takes place on the way to the grocery store, butcher's or bank.

It's not as if we Americans don't interact socially when we're running errands, don't get me wrong. I know very well what happens in Portola, CA when one goes to Leonard's for milk, say, and emerges half an hour later after having been fully informed of all the goings on in town. :) So, maybe it's a transference of where these interactions take place, but I distinctly remember being struck by the empty streets of Forest Grove after the return from my study abroad in Granada. And I think there's some loss of community that happens when there's such a lack of human presence in the streets of a town.

To radically change the subject, you're probably wondering about the picture: this is Maggie, one of Miriam's classmates who happens to be wonderful and lots of fun. The three of us together are pretty much a recipe for endless entertainment (if I might give my humble opinion). But I digress the picture is obviously Maggie and I, but the point is that we look like absolute twins because yesterday Miriam convinced me to buy a soft shell North Face jacket which she had previously also talked Maggie into purchasing. So now we are sporty twins in our sleek, soft shell jackets. ;)

I'm currently posting from Maggie's home which is beautifully located on a hill outside town just a bit. It's got lovely views of the town (picture to come) and is in general a relaxing place to be. It is, I must say, strange to be staying with Miriam at the "Fort" as it is called--the first year grad student housing--which is basically a dorm. There are only nine (?) other students living there, but it's communal bathrooms, kitchen and a semi-small room in which to fit ALL your stuff. So after being out of the dorms since sophomore year at Pacific, it's just weird to be back in a building with that distinctive dorm smell, using bathrooms and showers that everyone else uses and therefore where you can't leave your shampoo, towel or toothbrush. So it's nice to be in a home.

I feel very (gratefully) removed from this life of craziness. Sorry, that's not really related at all to communal kitchens or bathrooms, but rather the intense level of study here. And having been away from studies for a good five years now, I feel very distant from it all, in a good way. In some ways it is nice to be surrounded by the kinds of people who are willing to engage in deep conversations of the kind I find myself missing many times in my life abroad, however, there's another side of me that couldn't be happier to not be in this place myself. While I enjoy critical thinking and discussion and dialog, if I'm honest to myself it's rather overwhelming.

That's probably enough for the night. I'm picking my mom up tonight in Albany (late). :)

p.s. We adventurously made marzipan this afternoon. :) Maggie lent us her kitchen while she was in class and Miriam, another classmate and I mixed up some delicious marzipan. We getting ready to begin making some kind of shapes with it now that it's been chilling all evening.




Sunday, February 21, 2010

Here I am!

That's right, I'm back in the good ol' U.S. of A.

It's amazing how wonderfully short a direct flight to the East Coast is: 7.5 hours! That's it. I mean, I landed in New York and it was still a normal time to be awake, moving around and eating according to my bio. clock. It wasn't until I'd gotten all the way to Williamstown (after subway connections to Penn Station and Amtrack to Albany) that I started to feel the effects of my trip. Such a difference compared to flying from Spain to California--half the distance.

I was feeling like quite the savvy traveler, yesterday when I finally made it here to Willamstown. I still find such pleasure and pride in making my way successfully to my destination, especially when I'm "all by myself". I guess it's sort of a leftover from when my mom or a travel agent or teacher made trip arrangements, and although I've traveled quite a lot on my own it still makes me feel good when I can navigate the NY subway system and arrive with time to spare to catch the train I booked to Albany (online in Spain).

I opted to celebrate my independence and superb navigational skills with a smoothie in Penn Station. I haven't had a smoothie for over a year...except for one or two I've made at home. They're not something easy to come by in Spain. So I decided it was a good welcome to the US treat. Once at the counter to order, I remembered how crazy this country is: the "small" was bigger than I actually wanted! People wonder about obesity problems here? It's not that everyone eats McDonald's or Burger Kind (though that helps), it's that even if you go "healthly" and order a smoothie, you're drinking more calories than you should or need to! I can't believe I used to suck down a large...

This is the girl who went from grande lattes at Starbucks to shot glass cafe con leche. But perhaps that answers a question many people have asked since I moved to Spain: how have you lost so much weight?? I've classically blamed it on the health benefits of olive oil, but really it's probably got more to do with a cut back in portion size.

So many more impressions and comments now that I'm on the outside looking in, but we're getting ready to head out for breakfast. I'm starting to get hungry...it is past lunch time in Spain at the moment.

love you




Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Two days from now...

I'll be in Massachusetts! Plane travel always seems surreal, doesn't it? I mean even though I know you're all over there in the U.S. reading this, it's hard to really conceive of the simutanaeity (Google says I invented that word, but I don't care--it stays!) of life. I mean, right now at this moment I'm getting ready to go to school on Thursday and all of you on the West Coast are heading to bed at 11:15pm on a Wednesday night. Who knows, maybe some of you will read this right after I post before you go to sleep.

And how many times have I been able to picture the streets of Portland so clearly I can smell the rain? Or feel the warmth of the wood stove in my parents' house on a snowy winter day? Just a glance at the clock, I subtract 9 hours and, voila!, I can put you all in your places: work, home, shopping...

Theoretically, it's obvious and logical and you're wondering why and maybe how I can write so much about it; but in reality it's mind blowing for the simple reason that it's always difficult (maybe nearly impossible) to think outside one's own experience. I mean, I can imagine it all perfectly, but KNOWING that it's actually happening right now, there's no lag time between my knowing and your existence--that it what blows my mind when I stop to think about it.

So to think that in just two days, my reality will be a different one, a much much colder one (!) and that I'll be imagining with perfect clarity the place where I'm sitting at this very moment as I traipse about New England, is just crazy. (Were you able to follow that?) This is my way of saying I'm excited!! And I guess maybe it shows that I haven't been on a plane for a full year now, right?

Oh! For those of you who have found my hidden resolutions/reflextions post, I wanted to make an amendment: I've actually managed to travel to 10 countries in 10 years, not 9. I forgot to put the Netherlands on my list! I visited my dear friend, Leah from Pacific on her study abroad in the spring of my year in Granada. :) How could I forget?!

Love from Spain... I'll post at least once from MA to fill you all in.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day :)

Happy Valentine's Day to you all. I hope you're celebrating appropriately. Unfortunately my Valentine has just left to open the bar, although we did have a wonderful lunch out together. She surprised me and rather than heading out for our customary mid-day cervecita, we headed to Malaga! It's been months since the last time we ate fish at the beach, so it was lovely not only to get out of town for a few hours, but to see the Med. in all her winter glory--lots of waves. So our Valentines date was excellent fish and seafood. :)

Now I'm at home doing my best to get motivated enough to pull together a lesson plan for tomorrow's classes... As you can see, I'd much rather update you all on things non class related!

This weekend seems extra short for me because I had to work Friday morning in Casariche (making up hours for what I'll miss when I'm in MA.), so while I haven't exactly wasted my time, now that it's Sunday, I'm noticing the time crunch. Of course I've got plenty of things to tempt me away from class planning: dishes to wash, laundry to do, food to prep for tomorrow... Honestly, any one of those things is more appealing at the moment than opening up my books and perusing ESL websites for ideas. :P

Be that as it may, I should be off so at least I can pretend I'm taking advantage of my Sunday afternoon.

Lots of love to you all on Valentine's Day!
xxoo

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Lentejas!

These are the fantastic lentejas I made Tuesday. What a great way to start the week! :) Really, is there much more to life than a steaming bowl of lentils?

I'm off to school but just wanted to quickly post a little photo update of our latest culinary endeavors.

Keep cooking!

Only in Spain

Only in Spain can a teacher walk casually out of the staff lounge, glance across the playground and see a child's bare butt through the open door of the bathroom! Pretty amazing, huh? In general, little kids are really unembarrassed about their bodies. I mean to say that I don't think that's particular of Spain; however it is particular to Spain the way that adults react to things that my American self sees as lawsuits waiting to happen.

I suppose the bare bottom incident wouldn't be a lawsuit in the U.S. but I think it's hard to imagine any American kid running around in the bathroom with his/her pants around the knees with the door open, right? Maybe it's just been too long since I've been in an American elementary school.

Here's a better example: last week on the playground as I was making my way to the staff room, a first grade boy asked me to zip his fly. I had the twinge of a thought--pedophile--before I remembered I was in Spain where teachers openly hug, kiss and I'm pretty sure even wipe kid's rear ends. I zipped his pants and no one thought twice about it (except me).

There's another incident. I had a little boy (first grade again) ask me to wipe his bottom a few weeks ago. That, was something I was pretty sure I should at least find a man to do...just didn't feel right for me to do the job. Anyway, when I went looking for someone else, I ran into another teacher who asked what the problem was. When I explained the situation, she reprimanded the kid and walked him back to class. So I guess, there is a line somewhere... ;)

In general, I think it's really great that teachers don't live in constant fear of being accused of sexually abusing their students, although for me it's still a little strange when I see male teachers kissing their female students (cheeks of course). It's just natural. Of course the majority of us are normal people who would never even think of molesting a child. I think in this specific aspect, the American system is very flawed and goes completely against the idea of being innocent until proven guilty. I remember in the States some of my college professors even wouldn't have meetings with students if the door was closed!

Kids need love and nurturing. And especially when it seems as though there are more and more cases of kids who aren't given that kind of love and support at home, it's even more important for them to get it at school. We all know how good hugs and physical touch are for our health, so why are we so against it in schools, the institutions that are forming our future citizens? Wouldn't it be a good thing if they learned to care for and love each other?

I suppose it has a lot to do with the children's age, too. Obviously sixth grade girls aren't running up to their teachers and giving hugs and kisses; however, it wouldn't be at all abnormal for a teacher of either sex to give a student (of either sex) two kisses on the student's birthday. And in the streets it's normal that if you remotely know a kid you give them a kiss or ask for a kiss...especially if you buy them a toy from the ubiquitous one-euro vending machines!

This is one area specifically where I hope Spain can hold out against the increasing global (because I do think it's becoming global) tendency to be p.c., to remove ourselves emotionally/physically from each other, or become overly worried about possible lawsuits. We aren't robots. We have feelings and needs and all of us make mistakes... and while it's possible that a pedophile make it into the education system and abuse our children, I believe that possibility is slim.

What are we teaching our children when we deny them affection? How will they know how to properly express themselves toward others if they haven't got any examples. I know I'm excluding a huge number of kids who have healthy family relationships, and I do realize that those kids can grow into emotionally stable adults capable of expressing their love, etc. But those kids who aren't from nurturing families? What happens to them?

I remember an interaction I had with a boy from England a few years ago and he confided in me that once he had reached a certain age, his own mother didn't kiss or hug him any more! (In the U.K. things are even more radical than in the U.S.) This came up because he was terrified about having a relationship with a girl who was really interested in him. He saw himself in a totally foreign situation: how should he express his affection? What was normal, what wasn't, where were the lines? And I can tell you right now that I met this boy's parents and they were not delinquent or strange or standoffish or what have you.

So there's some food for thought on a Wednesday night.

Besos ;) yes, kisses, from Spain.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sunday already

I'm here at the table with my oatmeal again. This weekend has been far more productive than the last one, but I still can't believe it's Sunday already.

I spent most of my time this weekend making a power point presentation about California. I can't figure out how to attach it here, though so you'll just have to trust me when I say it is amazing! I'm very pleased with it and I think the kids will LOVE it. :) I made it to use in Casariche at the elementary school, but of course the good thing about my jobs is that they all run together. Material that I create/find for one works for the other, too. So one of these days when I'm not sure what to do with my students in Antequera, I can whip out my CA. power point and brag about my home state. ;) I've still got a few things I want to get done before tomorrow, but I'm feeling quite good about my level of productivity for the weekend.

This morning I'm helping Angelines in the bar, however, which means anything more I want to do will have to wait until this afternoon. Real Betis is playing at 12 noon again, so she's opening early and we're doing tapas again. Betis has got a weird playing schedule this year because they've been demoted to segundo--the second tier league.

It's been kind of hard on business because there are a lot of people in La Roda who used to come watch the games Sunday evenings at the bar. At the beginning of the season, the owner of the team wasn't even allowing games to be televised! Now you can watch the games, but they've got a completely different schedule from the first tier league, e.g. a lot of morning games.

I suppose in the end, the decent to 2nd is a mixed blessing. Now that we've started to do tapitas in the mornings all the regulars come to watch, and I think people are glad to have a change. The bar isn't a tapas bar, but we put out good tapas (almost exclusively made by my mother in law): tortilla, boquerones en vinagre, chorizo en vino, salcichon... Mmmm.

Well, my time for blogging is up. I've got to wake Angelines up so we can get ready to open.

Besitos

Friday, February 5, 2010

Psychoanalyzing, anyone?

I woke up this morning dreaming that I had traveled back in time with Angelines to when I was a baby. My mom was giving the baby me a bottle and then I sat down on my mom's lap and started feeding baby Viola...all the while, cooing to my baby self in Spanish. What do you think this means?

I feel like this is the kind of dream psychoanalysts would LOVE--feeding inner child? Reconciling my English-speaking past with my Spanish present? I think there's a lot of room for interpretation.

---

Today is Friday and I've gotten up "early" (9:00 am) to do some work before the day takes over and I'm left reeling and wondering how I've frittered away (to use Thoreau's words) my time. As you can see, I'm off to a good start! I guess I consider the time I'm eating, lost time anyway, so here I sit multi-tasking with a bowl of steaming oatmeal before me.

I wanted to send the promised pictures. Although perhaps you don't particularly care about my weekend purchases, the pictures make my posts more interesting in my opinion. So here is a nearly perfect picto-graphic explanation of my weekend (note the blanket is for our favorite football team):


Mentioning Thoreau, I just remembered that Walden Pond is in Massachusetts which is where I'm headed in just two weeks. Yeah...it's a long story, but basically I had airline credits that I had to use before March and to make the most of my money, I've decided to go to the East Coast to visit my dearest Miriam and not home for the one week of vacation I have now in Feb. Besides, I'm planning a trip out West for the end of June. Don't you worry, I'm sure I'll see most of you.

As I was saying, just remembered that this famous bit of American literature is right there in MA. and coming from CA. I tend to think EVERYTHING is nearby in a state the size of Massachusetts. ;) It does happen to be on the other side of the state from where Miriam is studying. But as I was looking at the map I saw Amherst right there in the middle and guess what? That's Emily Dickinson's hometown! So this might just be shaping up to be a tour through American literature's past. Honestly, sounds like my kind of tour. ...And of course we can't forget Ralph Waldo Emerson is another big name from MA.

Well, my oatmeal's been finished for a while now. I guess that means I should leave you all.

TGIF!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Resolutions, reflections, musings...

So, just before the new year, my friend Sara sent an email asking for resolutions, musings, predictions, etc. for this coming year/decade. I sent a list of questions, but didn't answer myself, and now that I have my blog, I think it's the perfect place to do such a thing.

Here you have it:

1. What's the very best thing that happened to you last year (2009)...the last decade??

(First of all I just want to say that although this question seems cheesy or simple, really it's a good exercise. For me, anyway, when I start to try to think of the BEST thing that happened to me--in a day or a month or year--I always end up with a list that's difficult to narrow down to just one thing; it makes me realize that A LOT of good things have happened. So it's an exercise to help focus on the positive things in life)

With that said, I must say that I cannot point out one simple thing as being the "very best thing" from last year. I got married, that was great! But better than the wedding itself was just how many people I care about were able to make the trip across the Atlantic--my sisters, parents, second mom, freshman roommate and best friend. Then there were my friends from here in Europe who came. We had representation from Germany, Belgium and Switzerland! The waiter at the bar where we had tapas several times pre and post wedding, said it was like the United Nations in La Roda...almost. :)

I showed pictures of the wedding to a coworker in Casariche just a few weeks ago and she was amazed. Aside from the fact that she'd never seen me without glasses, much less with make up, she was impressed by the number of "my" people who came to the wedding considering that it's a 12 hour flight. Her comment was, "They really love you." And it's true. I am loved and I'm so grateful for it.

Thank you.

So in 2009, I guess my wedding takes the cake (which, by the way we forgot to eat!); but what about the decade?

It's hard for me to believe that ten years ago I was a Junior in high school! I feel sooooo removed from that time in my life, nevertheless ten years doesn't seem like that much time. I suppose in years, it really isn't much time, but when I think about all that's changed for me since February of my junior year at P.H.S. a decade seems like a lifetime in and of itself!

Wow... the best thing in ten years time? So hard to choose. A few come to mind right away: making it to the C.A. State cross country race my senior year in H.S.; going abroad my junior year at Pacific; spending a year post graduation living with Yaprak in Portland; falling in love (!); all the traveling I've done (nine countries in ten years...not bad, eh?).

Those are just some of the "best" things, but I can think of a lot of other things that made me happy this decade: road trips with H.S. friends; making unforgettable friends at college; long runs with my girls; Tuesday brunches; discovering Sara Petrocine ;); my senior year with the language assistants in Vandervelden; getting to know my cousins (Matt, Sarah, Shawna) better; Forest Park in my back yard; my colt; Ranch Skills class with my mom; Cowboy Poetry; laughing with my sisters (usually at my mom!). ;)

The decade hasn't been at all bad, has it?

2. What's the worst thing that happened to you? (year/decade)

The worst thing that happened to me, without a doubt was when my sister died. Once again, time is a tricky thing: it feels like ages ago that I was teasing her, talking to her, laughing with her...yet, this time ten years ago, she was alive.

I can't believe it.

Somehow being a full decade makes it more pronounced...perhaps because it really isn't that much time; I feel as though there must be some way to turn back these past ten years and tell her not to get in that car... or at least to relive a month or two with her again.

I miss you, Emily.

Thinking about what I was doing ten years ago today...Wow, I know EXACTLY what I was doing: making candy grams (fund raising for prom!) with Miriam on the floor in her living room with the fire going and music playing... Anyway, being able to picture my life so exactly on February 12, 2000, makes me feel her absence that much more now and looking back at these past ten years.

How many times have I wanted to share something with her? Or remind her of the time when...? How many times have I fought to hold onto our mutual memories that are slowly fading away.

When there's no one to remember with, it isn't easy to keep things straight, or even remember at all. And every time I think that anyone I've met after August 22, 2000 can and will never know my sister, a sadness comes over me that I can't find words to describe. It might be the most helpless feeling in the world.

3. Describe one situation over the past year, where you reacted to somthing/said something/did something/provoked something, where if you had the chance to change the outcome, you would. What would you change? What do you wish the outcome had been?

High school graduation. Valedictorian speech with my three best friends from H.S. Details aren't important anymore, but the those of you who were there know that in the days prior to graduation things were said and done that nearly destroyed one of those friendships for good.

If I could go back in time, I would never have made that phone call. I wouldn't have said what I did. I wish that it had never happened, because the consequences lasted for the better part of the decade.

It took a long time for those wounds to heal, and in the healing process, we lost a lot of valuable time together. I think we cut ourselves off from each other at a moment when we most needed old friends--entering freshman year college. So much changed for us that year that almost without realizing it, we grew further apart than either of us ever wanted or intended.

I'm still sorry it happened that way.

4. Choose a theme (song, saying, line from a poem...or just something you make up!) for the past year. Explain it.

Camintante, son tus huellas el camino y nada mas; caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar. Al andar se hace camino y al volver la vista atras se ve la senda que nunca se ha de pisar. Caminante, no hay camino, sino estelas en la mar.
-Antonio Machado

I think this excerpt from a Machado poem is appropriate for many reasons. He was Sevillano...and that's where my "camino" has lead me in the end. I read the poem for the first time when I took a Spanish literature class in Granada my year abroad. It just so happened that the previous semester I'd been in Doyle Walls' poetry class, and was probably therefore, a lot more open and interested in poetry in general. The words struck me then, but now when I read them, especially given this blog post, they seem poignant and representative of my decade:

"Traveler, your footprints are the path and nothing more. Traveler, there is no path, a path is made as we walk. As we walk we make a path, and when we look back, we see the trail we'll never walk again. Traveler, there is no trail, rather a wake over the sea. " (that's my own translation)

There is no destiny, no grand plan; we each must find our own way and when it's over, all we can do is look back at where we've been and realize that there's no going back. It's melancholy, but liberating, and I think, very beautiful.

5. What's something you want more of in the new year? How about less of?

I want more time in the kitchen, cooking with my girl. Can you get enough of that? I love diving into a new recipe with Angelines helping me chop, stir, clean and, of course, taste the results; that's not to mention eating what we make!

Less? I suppose I want less worry, less stress. A lot of times I bring stress on myself by not keeping things in perspective. But really not a lot comes to mind that I want to cut down on.

6. What's something new that you learned in 2009? What's something new you want to learn in 2010?

Hmmm... In 2009 I learned how to make my own vanilla extract! I also learned a lot of new Sevillanas (songs). I learned how to mix my own paint colors (I've got one wall that's proof of my learning curve when it comes to being sure the colors are WELL mixed). I learned (or perhaps discovered is a better word) how damp and cold a Spanish piso can get...and also I learned just how hot it gets in Andalucia in July! And perhaps more importantly, I learned how to cut jamon (Iberian cured ham). I'm no expert, but I'd say I cut a passable plate of jamon. :)

I would like to learn German in 2010. I would like to learn some easy/cheap ways to decorate my little piso. I'd like to perfect my Sevillana dancing.

7. Think about what you were doing ten years ago today. Did you ever imagine you'd be where you are now? Have these ten years gone according to some plan? Or have they fallen randomly into place? Where do you think you'll be in 2020?

I think I've sort of answered this question already.

If you had asked my 16 year old self, where she'd be in ten years time, "Married in Spain" wouldn't have been the answer. Ha! I think my only knowledge of Spain at that point in my life was the little I'd seen in Destinos in Mr. Hardy's Spanish class! Wow. That's hard to believe.

Thinking of how incredibly unaware I was ten years ago of this place that is now my home, begs the question, what don't I know now that in 2020 will be so glaringly obvious as to appear an inevitable part of my "camino"?

Obviously, I can't say. Perhaps nothing. Perhaps life in my thirties will settle down and there won't be so many unexpected twists and turns. I think it's true that from 16-26, there are a lot more changes in a short amount of time than at other points in life... but I don't really know what I'm talking about, do I?


8. What's the most difficult decision you made last year?

Funny how being faced with the superlative (and the obvious advantage of hind sight), tough decisions seem to be less important. I suppose the most difficult decision I made last year was to get married here in Spain. Although I'm happy here and love Angelines dearly, deciding to live in a foreign country is a big and hard decision. I'm not sorry I made it, but it wasn't easy at the time.

9. Where have you traveled in the last decade? Where do you want to go in the next ten years?

I told you nine countries. In order of travel the list reads thusly:
-England (drama class)
-Ireland (visiting Shelan on her study abroad)
-Belize (tropical bio class)
-Spain (my own study abroad)
-Belgium (visiting Fanny while on my year abroad)
-India (visiting Miriam over Christmas on her exchange)
-Canada (a weekend with Yaprak in Vancouver for a psych. convention)
-Turkey (visiting Yaprak after a year working in Spain)
-Italy (New Year 2008 with Gabrielle and Nancy in Monopoly)

And on my list for these next ten years are Chile and Thailand as definite must-sees...The rest of my travels (I'm assuming there will be more), I'm willing to let come of their own accord.

10. What's your favorite song/movie from this past year?

I really liked The Mysterious Case of Benjamin Button... and no song comes immediately to mind.
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Well, I think this is officially my longest post! If any of you care to answer my questions for yourselves, send me the answers. I'd like to hear about your year/decade.

Besos

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Very briefly!

Good morning!
I think it's been just about a week since I wrote...right? Well, I have been wanting to sit down and blog a bit all week, just haven't found the time.

The weekend was great. I got out of La Roda for a bit, which was really nice. On Saturday I met up with a teacher friend of mine and her small son in Granada and we did some shopping. Okay, yes, that's not a typical "Viola" activity, is it? Well, in January and February there are huge sales all over Spain. In the past I've gone with friends from here, but this year I was on my own. So seeing as how I needed some new shoes and a dressy winter coat, I was willing to brave the shops on my quest for low prices. (Now that sounds more like me, doesn't it?)

I was able to find some great shoes and a really fun coat, too. I'll send pics. ;) The morning was lovely and then we ate at the only Indian restaurant in Granada (pretty sure it's the only one...). It was really good food. I was impressed. And it felt good to be both out of town for a bit and eating non-Spanish food; especially Indian made me think of Portola and the Stantons.

We spent the afternoon at her house sipping tea and talking teaching. She's one of my role-models for great teaching, so this year when I'm struggling to find my way through my classes it's especially helpful to talk to her. We worked together in La Roda and I've missed her a lot being back in an elementary school here. She gave me some good ideas for presenting material on power point and so I've made up a few shows for my kids. So far, they've been well received.

Then Sunday Angelines opted to close the pub (Yippeee!) and we headed to Cordoba in the morning to see Real Betis Balonpie play a soccer game. Betis is our favorite "football" team. We spent the morning in chatting in the car and yelling at the game--they won!!--and then the afternoon with our friends having tapitas.

It was a wonderful weekend, but you can see I didn't do much in the way of planning for my week so... Here I am scrambling to let you know what's going on with me at 8:25am before I brush my teeth and run off to school.

Love to you all! Happy Thursday and Happy Groundhog's Day (late) :)