Yesterday Emily was three hundred and fifty eight days old. Yesterday, for the first time, she began nursing without nipple shields! I have tried repeatedly and unsuccessfully to wean her from the silly little silicone half moons almost as soon as we began using them.
Emmy was a little baby with a little mouth and I have inverted nipples (TMI for a public forum??). Anyway, there was no way to get her to latch in the hospital and we even gave her some formula in desperation because she just would not nurse. Emily was born just before 3 pm, and by 9 pm, we were using the shields.
They have been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing on the one hand because they have allowed me to nurse these nearly twelve months of her life, and a curse because they are bothersome, messy, embarrassing and just one more thing to remember when you're packing a diaper bag. They are also apparently quite addictive. Although I was dead-set on breast-feeding from the very beginning of my pregnancy, being a mom for the first time is full of unknowns and while there are always plenty of people around to give you advice (good and not so good), in the end, it all comes down to you and your self-confidence. At nine o'clock at night when your newborn is screaming because she's hungry, and yet will not accept the breast you forget all the "shoulds" "shouldn'ts" and "how-tos" and do anything to feed her and calm her down.
Starting when she was just days old I would offer the breast without the shield, pinching and pushing it into a "sandwich" for her to take, squeezing out a few drops of milk to entice her to suck...all to no avail. On good days she humored me for some time, and on bad days she would immediately start crying for her meal. People said that I should try it when she wasn't hungry so as not to upset her--when she wanted to eat, obviously she wasn't in the mood for "games". But when she wasn't hungry, she wasn't interested in the breast at all. If I took it off after she'd sated her hunger just a bit, she would simply stop nursing before she was really finished. There was nothing I could do to convice her that her food wasn't coming from that flimsy plastic nipple. I finally quit insisting. We were fine: my production seemed to be in step with her needs; she was gaining weight...why sweat it?
Starting around seven months I started taking off the shield again just to see what she'd do. This time she would pretend to take the breast in her mouth, then pull away and laugh at me--Oh mom, you're so silly! Don't you know you shouldn't play with your food?. But they say hope never dies, and I continued occasionally offering the bare breast before putting on the shield thinking that with age she'd out grow this needless crutch.
It turns out I was right. My patience and persistence paid off yesterday. When I offered her the breast she suckled once or twice and let go with her typical grin, but before I could reach the shields to put one on, she'd taken it in her mouth again. She nursed a few seconds longer this time and I could almost see the little neurons firing in her brain: she was connecting the dots. The third time she latched on, she stayed on...and it has been a full twenty four hours now with no shields! I am almost afraid to jinx myself, but I suspect they're gone for good. :) I am fairly sure that we may have to fall back on them before we kick the habbit completely, but I know now that there is a definite end in sight.
The shields, as I have said are good and bad. They certainly have a place: for women with cracked nipples or other sores, they can aid healing before going back to nursing bare; in my case, they gave Emily something to "hold onto"; but they are not an easy habbit to break and they are most annoying at night. The silicone nipple fills up with milk and when the baby is agitated she'll knock it off and soak clothes or sheets. I could never simply drift off to sleep when Emily nursed at night because I was constantly worried that she would knock off the shield and either loose it or begin to cry because she hadn't finished eating and wanted more. Putting them on in the dark is another challenge. We have slept with a nightlight for the past year--something which is arguably quite bad for a good night's sleep.
Needless to say I am overjoyed to be rid of them. This is the best birthday gift Emily could have given me!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Inside Out
Have any of you seend the new Disney Pixar film, "Inside Out"? I finally did last night. Several of my adult students have reccommended it to me since it's come up in class that I love animated movies. ;) I've had it downloaded for a while now, but strangely it's been hard finding time to sit down and watch it!
I really enjoyed it. For those of you who haven't seen or heard of it, the protagonists are the emotions of an eleven-year-old girl, Riley. That's right, 90% of the movie takes place inside her brain at "Head-quarters". Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust take turns pressing buttons on the control panel to keep Riley, safe and happy; but when her parents move from her childhood home in Minnesota to San Francisco, things start to get out of hand. Joy and Sadness accidentally end up lost in long-term memory and with Head-quarters left in the hands of Anger, Disgust and Fear, you can imagine all the trouble Riley gets into.
It's very cleveryly done and I'd like to watch it again because there are so many witty snippetts that get by you the first time around. It is an animated movie, but as my adult students who have seen it warned me, it isn't really for young kids--not that it's inappropriate, but the storyline is just too far over their heads. For us adult-folk though, it gives some good food for thought.
It's certainly a film for psychology fans. The general premis is that our personality is forged from the key moments in our lives (childhood). These "core memories," as they call them, create connextions to what come to be the pilars of our personality--things like honesty, family, fun, etc. And of course, watching the different emotions react to Riley's life give one pause: how often do we allow Anger or Fear to take the wheel and control our reactions, instead of allowing Joy to show us the positive side of things and see the best in others?
I highly reccommend it. For those of you who are not fans of animation, put aside your prejudices; it is worth seeing.
I really enjoyed it. For those of you who haven't seen or heard of it, the protagonists are the emotions of an eleven-year-old girl, Riley. That's right, 90% of the movie takes place inside her brain at "Head-quarters". Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust take turns pressing buttons on the control panel to keep Riley, safe and happy; but when her parents move from her childhood home in Minnesota to San Francisco, things start to get out of hand. Joy and Sadness accidentally end up lost in long-term memory and with Head-quarters left in the hands of Anger, Disgust and Fear, you can imagine all the trouble Riley gets into.
It's very cleveryly done and I'd like to watch it again because there are so many witty snippetts that get by you the first time around. It is an animated movie, but as my adult students who have seen it warned me, it isn't really for young kids--not that it's inappropriate, but the storyline is just too far over their heads. For us adult-folk though, it gives some good food for thought.
It's certainly a film for psychology fans. The general premis is that our personality is forged from the key moments in our lives (childhood). These "core memories," as they call them, create connextions to what come to be the pilars of our personality--things like honesty, family, fun, etc. And of course, watching the different emotions react to Riley's life give one pause: how often do we allow Anger or Fear to take the wheel and control our reactions, instead of allowing Joy to show us the positive side of things and see the best in others?
I highly reccommend it. For those of you who are not fans of animation, put aside your prejudices; it is worth seeing.
Friday, October 16, 2015
An Afternoon with Auntie Antonia
 |
| My big girl |
It may seem silly, but today marked a milestone. I am delighted that the evening at her auntie's house wasn't a traumatic experience, but it is still a little bittersweet: just one more reminder that my little girl is growing up. I really cannot believe that in less than three weeks she'll be a year old.
Work continues to go well. I am extremely grateful that my boss is so flexible with my schedule. I think I have mentioned that I am contracted for 20 hours per week, although lately I've been working 25 (those extra five being under the table). But the schedule has been hard for all of us to adapt to and working five days a week (even if it is just for five hours a day) is hard because it means that Angelines and I never have a full day together in family. Working in the morning is better, but afternoons are awful. We decided that if I had Wednesdays off things would be much better, even if it does mean a cut in pay. She works Thurs. through Sun. so having a Friday off, for example makes no sense for us. Anyway, my boss re-worked my schedule and beginning next week we will have a full day in the middle of the week to do whatever we want (or need) to do. :)
And so, of course, when I got the last minute message to work this afternoon instead of morning, there was little I could do other than call in the babysitting reserves and get myself to Estepa at 4.
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours...
Friday, October 2, 2015
Adjusting
So as you gathered from my last blog, going back to work is an adjustment for all of us. This week has been better. I am getting into more of a groove with my schedule (although it does change) and Angelines and Emily are thick as theives! Thank God I still breastfeed because otherwise I think I'd be completely dispensable in Em's mind. There is nothing quite like coming home to her four-toothed grin, watching her wriggle in anticipation as I change into my house clothes and then greedily throw herself at my chest when I finally offer her the breast.
She is growing so fast I cannot believe it. Everyone warns you about babies' vertiginous growth when they're just new born: "Enjoy them while they're small; it doesn't last!" And it is oh so true. Our Emily will be eleven months old on Sunday and I cannot believe the changes she's made in less than a year. She's a pretty expert crawler now albeit with her own "style" (one knee and one foot...). She's learned to climb the stairs quite well and is even pretty good at coming back down all by herself. She pulls herself up on everything and has now even graduated to using the wall for support alone, that is to say no actual "pulling," to stand herself up. She pushes chairs about; and she even has begun letting go and standing (although only for a few seconds before she gleefully throws herself onto her bottom). I am nearly sure she'll be walking by or shortly after her birthday.
...I was interrupted after beginning this post. The first Friday of every month I go to a breastfeeding support group meeting. At first, it was really nice to listen to other new moms' stories and difficulties and get advice myself or have my own questions answered; but anymore I go mostly because I have come to really enjoy many of the mothers in the group. It's fun to see their babies growing up and today was especially fun because now that Emily is crawling she was really able to interact more with the other kids.
Today was a small group. We were all "regulars" and Emily was the only baby under a year, so there wasn't much discussion of nursing today--at this point we're experts! So we were mostly just chatting and discussing other child-rearing related topics. Emily scored a cookie off one little boy, played with a big gym ball for a while and pushed another kid's tricycle around the room for a bit. I'd say she had a good time, and of course, so did I.
Now she is sleeping and so I wanted to finish my post. I was originally going to write about work...but I'm not up for it now. I am happy to be working, but it is difficult at times to not be in control of what I'm teaching. The children's classes especially tend to be challenging because I still find myself making things up as I go, which never turns out very well. Kids' classes are the ones that need to be the most carefully planned and at this point I feel as though it's a bit haphazard. But I try to remain positive about it and remember that planning isn't part of my job, which makes my life five thousand times less stressful. I am so grateful that I can just come home and BE with Emily and Angelines and leave work at work! If that means I need to suffer a bit in the classroom...right now that's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
She is growing so fast I cannot believe it. Everyone warns you about babies' vertiginous growth when they're just new born: "Enjoy them while they're small; it doesn't last!" And it is oh so true. Our Emily will be eleven months old on Sunday and I cannot believe the changes she's made in less than a year. She's a pretty expert crawler now albeit with her own "style" (one knee and one foot...). She's learned to climb the stairs quite well and is even pretty good at coming back down all by herself. She pulls herself up on everything and has now even graduated to using the wall for support alone, that is to say no actual "pulling," to stand herself up. She pushes chairs about; and she even has begun letting go and standing (although only for a few seconds before she gleefully throws herself onto her bottom). I am nearly sure she'll be walking by or shortly after her birthday.
...I was interrupted after beginning this post. The first Friday of every month I go to a breastfeeding support group meeting. At first, it was really nice to listen to other new moms' stories and difficulties and get advice myself or have my own questions answered; but anymore I go mostly because I have come to really enjoy many of the mothers in the group. It's fun to see their babies growing up and today was especially fun because now that Emily is crawling she was really able to interact more with the other kids.
Today was a small group. We were all "regulars" and Emily was the only baby under a year, so there wasn't much discussion of nursing today--at this point we're experts! So we were mostly just chatting and discussing other child-rearing related topics. Emily scored a cookie off one little boy, played with a big gym ball for a while and pushed another kid's tricycle around the room for a bit. I'd say she had a good time, and of course, so did I.
Now she is sleeping and so I wanted to finish my post. I was originally going to write about work...but I'm not up for it now. I am happy to be working, but it is difficult at times to not be in control of what I'm teaching. The children's classes especially tend to be challenging because I still find myself making things up as I go, which never turns out very well. Kids' classes are the ones that need to be the most carefully planned and at this point I feel as though it's a bit haphazard. But I try to remain positive about it and remember that planning isn't part of my job, which makes my life five thousand times less stressful. I am so grateful that I can just come home and BE with Emily and Angelines and leave work at work! If that means I need to suffer a bit in the classroom...right now that's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
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