Secure Attachment

One of my elective classes this semester is "Intelligence and Emotional Education" (Educación de la inteligencia y la afectividad). We've looked at different theories of intelligence, among them Gardner's famous "multiple intelligence" theory, and we've also discussed feelings, emotions and values education.

It's an interesting class, though at times it seems it gets a little too touchy-feely to be very "scientific." In any case I think what we're learning really is important, especially in a world where it seems more and more parents are leaving education (in all senses of the word) to schools and teachers. Knowing how to effectively channel a child's emotions and passions in school is key not only to motivation, but in helping them develop as people and in the future be successful members of society.

This week's reading was about attachment theory. Those of you who haven't studied child development or psychology might be wondering what on Earth that is! Basically it's a theory to describe human relationships based principally on our first social interactions: infant and mother/caregiver.

"Psychologist John Bowlby was the first attachment theorist, describing attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings" (Bowlby, 1969, p. 194). Bowlby believed that the earliest bonds formed by children with their caregivers have a tremendous impact that continues throughout life." (http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/attachment01.htm)

Mary Ainsworth expanded on Bowlby's work using the "Strange Situation" study, in which young children where put in a strange environment with, then without their caregiver and observed. Based on her observations she described three different styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment, and avoidant-insecure attachment.

Of course in class we're learning about how to use this knowledge of attachment theory to be able to recognize behavioral patterns in students and provide them with the proper environment to experience secure attachment with their teachers, giving them a solid base for future relationships if their parental attachment is less than ideal.

It's all quite interesting. Sometimes I think what I really like about teaching is the psychology involved in it! In any case, I can't help learning about these theories without comparing with my own childhood and marveling at the wonderful job my parents did of providing me (and my sisters) with that secure attachment.

I was reading an email from my mom shortly after my class and she related my sister Lucy's experience at Sonoma State Freshman Orientation this past weekend. :) And as I read about the sweet text that she sent my mom in the midst of it: "This is scary, mommy!" I couldn't help but be proud of what an amazing mother I (we) have.

One of the principal indicators of a secure attachment is that the child when placed in a new environment with his/her caregiver explores the surroundings. A child with insecure attachment doesn't trust that his/her caregiver will be there as support or for protection and therefore they rarely leave their mother's side. However, a child with secure attachment knows that his/her caregiver is there to protect, guide and support him or her and so has the confidence to leave them and explore.

My sisters and I aren't babies any more, but I haven't a doubt in my mind that I would never have gotten on a plane to fly across the Atlantic at the age of ten to visit family friends I'd never met if I hadn't had absolute faith in my mother's (and father's) unending love, support and protection. Nor would I have ventured to leave the country for a second time on my study abroad or to return later as a Language Assistant... much less choose to live in a foreign country.

But I am not the only one: Maggie has spent a whole year in Belgium, a country whose language she couldn't speak before she left home; and now little Lu who's always been more of a homebody is growing up so fast she insisted on driving herself to Chico for her college placement exams.

It came up in class today whether or not this kind of independent, assured behavior isn't also a part of personality. The professor conceded that of course there could be personalities that have more of a predisposition toward certain attachments, but that in general any personality, when provided with a loving, secure environment develops a secure attachment to a greater or lesser degree.

The real trick is in providing a balance of independence and protection: allowing a child to learn on his/her own without abandoning them, and at the same time providing security and protection without smothering their self-confidence. It's a fine line.

I know that my mom sometimes wonders how she got such an independent daughter...

Look in the mirror, mom.

Thank you. I love you.

Bragging rights:

Today was the last day of my private classes. I am finished (except for a few who want summer classes) until late September or October. This coming year I want to organize myself better and have more of a "curriculum" for my little kid classes, but this year has been a good one despite being somewhat directionless. Even though all my education classes warn against not having objectives (they're right of course), I know that my kids have learned a lot; and more importantly they've had FUN in English. At the very least they're learning to like the language.

So I just have a few quick stories to share as proof that the rug rats have learned a thing or two:

One of the mothers shared a great story with me today. Apparently over the weekend they were thinking about beating the heat by getting ice cream, but didn't want to say "ice cream" (in Spanish) because their two-year-old son would start begging. The dad used English as code and said something along the lines of "yo quiero eye-cree". Their daughter (just turned five and has class with me), turned around on the couch and said, "yo quiero de nata, pero papá, así está mal dicho. No se dice 'eye-cree', es 'ice cream'!" (That is: "I want vanilla, but dad, that's not how you say it. It's not 'eye-cree', it's ICE CREAM!) Needless to say her dad was impressed.

I'm only slightly disappointed that she didn't bust out with "I want nata"...because I did teach them that, but I suppose you can only expect so much. ;)

In my classes we always do a little warm up asking "how are you?" and different random questions. Today I asked a little girl how she was and she answered, "hot". I chuckled (it's already pretty damned hot here...getting into the nineties every day) and answered, "me too." Another little girl, all of her own accord, piped up with "me three!". ;)

Isn't that cool?!

I have NEVER said, "me three" in class. I was impressed that she made the connection with the number two...even though obviously she doesn't know the difference between too and two, it still shows that a) she was listening to her classmate, and b) she understood that I was agreeing by saying "too/two" and that logically, three follows two and must therefore be what a third party would respond! :) I couldn't help laughing and giving a high five for that one.

So although my kids are all exceptionally bright (of course!), I still like to think that I'm doing a good job laying the foundation for their future in English. They're picking up basic, solid communication skills in class instead of just vocab. :)

That's all.

Teaching for the 21st Century

Just a little motivation to help me make it through these last weeks of class.

Enjoy!

Welcome to Belgium

"Welcome to Belgium" was my only thought as I descended through twenty minuets of clouds and rain before landing in Charleroi, Belgium this past Friday. The weather was NOT what my sister Maggie had promised... "It's been warm, bring a light jacket and you should be fine." I was freezing most of the time.

Of course you have to understand that I left Málaga at 25 degrees... In Belgium it never got over 20 (most days it was around 18). I've now come back to 32-34 degree weather. With good reason I was freezing in Belgique! It hasn't been that cold in Spain since March, at least (with a few fluke cold snaps here and there). All the Belgians were laughing at me, the warm-blooded "Spaniard". ;)

My visit was great. More than anything I realized just how much I'm going to miss having Maggie on my side of the "pond" (as Spaniards, fondly refer to the Atlantic). It's been great to have her so close this year. We've seen each other three times! Now she's off to Portland, one of my favorite US cities...and rather than a mere 80 euro flight, I'd have add at least another zero to that sum to make it to Oregon for a visit. :(

You've all seen the video of her host sister by now. (Isn't she cute!) And although Maggie doesn't say a whole lot more that "merci", you get a little taste of her French. It was pretty cool to be on the other side of the translation for a change. ;) I know I started getting annoying when I wanted to know all about Belgian history, etc. ...Maggie was wishing I'd just shut up and do a Google search! But she was a brave and persistent translator for me, and I didn't do too badly myself mixing Spanish with a French accent. I was able to be understood most of the time, much to Maggie's exasperation ("You're making me look bad, Opie!"). ;) Minimum I got a few key lines memorized for the wedding Angelines and I will be attending in Lyon, France in July. :) (Look out, Ethan)

Another high-light of the trip was getting to visit the fortress at Namur. It was originally constructed by the Spanish in the Middle Ages. I'm just studying this time period at the moment in my history class so it was especially neat to walk around and hear what the guides had to say about the evolution of the fortress since Spanish times. It was most recently used during both the World Wars! This is the view of the Namur from the fortress:

Maggie's host family is really great and they took us all around. Namur was one of my favorites, but we also visited a monastery where they brew their own beer and make their own cheese. The cheese was fantastic...but I have to say I am still not a beer fan. Those of you who know me will not be surprised. I decided that when in Belgium...you've got to at least try the beer--yuck! (no offense to Belgian brewers!)

In anycase, on the way home in the car, Maggie's host dad commented that we were much more talkative and it was a good thing we hadn't drunk ALL the beer in the sampler (one of them was 10% alcohol!). ;) He is probably right, though I think rather than make us more talkative we would have fallen asleep in the car! In any case we dubbed it "Belgian Liquid Magic"... of course Maggie translated that to French for her host parents--her host mom nearly wet her pants laughing at us! ;)

Although I wasn't allowed to pay for nearly anything, I did repaid my hosts with two Spanish meals: tortilla española and paella. They were impressed by both though by Spanish standards, I'm afraid my cooking came up a bit short on both accounts. Still it was wonderful to be in the kitchen and Maggie's little host sister was a great little sous chef! She was very proud of herself when the paella came out so good. ;)

We were unable to meet up with Fanny, my family's first exchange student, but we did visit Justine (another exchange student who lived with my fam) in Tournai. What a beautiful city! And she treated us to some EXCELLENT Belgian fries--soooo good. :)

I was also able to go running with Maggie. She's joined a group of beginners and had apparently been talking me up to all the other members... Ha! I guess I didn't let her down since one other guy and I were the leaders through the whole work out. I was flattered because an older woman who runs with them and does marathons and such commented to Maggie's host mom that I must be a runner; she could tell by the way I ran that I was not an am-mature. I was quite flattered.

It was a wonderful trip despite the cold weather. Of course, most of all it was wonderful to see Maggie (loads of beastly sister love!) and hear her French and see how much her host family loves her. Her host mom said she was wonderful about three different ways and THEN said she was a joy to live with. ;) I was impressed and so happy that she's going to be leaving Belgique on such a good note.

Dumdum Deo...

This is Maggie's host sister, Lena. She's a doll and loves singing. You can also get a little taste of Maggie's French in the video, even though it's short. I was quite impressed. It was pretty cool to listen to her. :)

Rain Storm

Just a little taste of the storm we experienced here... Because we have a new roof, the noise actually IS this loud!

Pre-dawn Painting

Now that school's over I'm finally able to start on the kinds of home-improvement projects that I love--namely painting. Monday I got up before sunrise to beat the heat and start painting the flowerbeds in the patio. They were in desperate need of a paint job as you can see in the pictures below. We decided on "rojo intenso"...we'll see how it holds up to the Andalusian sun after this summer. The flowerbeds might be pale pink by October! At the moment, though, I'm very happy with the color--very vivo in my opinion.

Take a look:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

What do you think? We finished up the painting today and spent the morning cleaning up the patio after the crazy summer storm we had Monday afternoon. It POURED.

It rained so hard that we realized we have a small leak in the roof! Oops. Have to get that looked at before fall! There were hail storms across Andalusia and apparently it hailed some here in La Roda, too. There's a Spanish saying, "Hasta el 40 de mayo, no te quites el sayo". Roughly translated that is: Until May 40th (June 10) don't take off your sweater. Spaniards love their refranes (sayings) and insist that they're never wrong. In this case, I'd have to agree.

I guess on Friday it'll be safe to go out in a T-shirt. ;)