June 29 Angelines and I made the decision to leave Granada and stay full-time in La Roda. There are a lot of nuances to the decision which I won't go into on this public forum, but suffice it to say there were many factors and it was not a decision made lightly. At times, I am suddenly overwhelmed by this new reality and flooded with doubt as to whether or not we have chosen wisely. Ultimately, however, the best decision is always the one you make...so here goes: jumping into small-town life all over again with both feet!
I am most concerned about school for Emily. This year, by Spanish law she'll head into first grade, and I think the drastic contrast from self-directed, Montessori learning, to text books and homework will be rough at first. I am confident that children adapt much more easily than we do, and I think that come October I'll be able to say that it's been tougher on me than on my daughter. (fingers crossed).
Knowing that she's at a school where she is respected as a human being and allowed to follow her inner guide just as she is at home is something we will all miss; but when it comes down to it, a happy, supportive, loving home is worth 100 times any school. There will be an adjustment period, I'm sure, but I am also confident that we'll come through this stronger as a family.
Emily was initially sad when we told her we were leaving Granada. She immediately said she didn't want to leave her great teachers, but since breaking the news, she really hasn't said much else. I am sure it is simmering and sinking in. I know it will come up when we least expect it, but so far so good. She is even happily telling people around town that she's going to be here this year and that she'll have a new school. The other day she asked what the classrooms in her new school were like, if the teacher would explain the rules to her and if her teacher would speak Spanish or English. So she is processing, but for now there doesn't seem to be too much fear or resistance...only time will tell.
As for me, I am also processing still. These past two years have been a struggle, but also incredibly rewarding. It is a beautiful thing to work in an environment steeped in mutual respect, in which the children are really encouraged to be themselves and follow their interests. It is humbling to see the ways in which they grow, blosom and flourish given the right conditions. I will certatinly miss that.
I don't know what I'll do in the Fall. I am planning to go back to private English classes from home (or perhaps via Zoom)as a last resort. I have made contact with my ex-boss from the English academy in a town nearby, and she seems to be hopeful that business will pick up enough to need to hire someone in September. I was very happy working with/for her and would gladly go back even if my heart is with Montessori.
On the other hand it does feel refreshing to be investing time and energy in our home here and know that we'll actually be able to enjoy it this year. For the past two years La Roda has just been a place to sleep on weekends. All the time and energy spent during confinement paiting and fixing things feels like it has a purpose now. And it feels really good to organize and order things as we slowly reincorporate all of our stuff from La Zubia into our home here. Many things are being tossed or donated, lightening the load is a big part of all of this--physically and metaphorically speaking.
Last week at the city pool (yes, it is open) on two separate days, a tiny bat landed on my things. This has never happened before, and I think it quite odd as well because it was around one o'clock the fist day and at about eight pm the second. The second occasion was admitedly closer to dusk and a more appropriate time for bats to be active, but there was still plenty of light. Niether animal seemed sick or wounded and both flew away on their own relatively quickly. I decided to look up the significance of bats and when they appear in dreams at least, this is what I found:
The Bat symbolism, in this case, is almost always putting you on notice of a significant change in your life. Explicitly, you must pay attention to the signs that are surrounding you. In this case, these clues could be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. The Bat meaning signifies the death of some part of you that no longer serves your higher calling.
I am not sure what to make of it still, but there can be no denying that the winds of change are blowing here in Eastern Seville.
