Christmas Morning

Merry Christmas. Santa made a visit to our house last night and left some real treasures for Emily: a dress-up chest to keep all her tutús and fancy clothes in, a PlayMobile doll house, a basket for her bicycle, some yellow (her favorite color!) tights and a few other treasures.  She's been playing all morning.  The gilttery shirt/dress was something my mom brought over here for her, but didn't get a chance to give...so Santa took advantage to "give" a little something extra in her dress-up box. ;)

Christmas has been really nice this year.  Last night, Christmas Eve, my mother-in-law was the only one to come over and eat with us.  She arrived around 4:30 in the afternoon, just right after Emily had gone down for her nap and so ended up sweeping my whole patio looking for things to keep herself busy (bless her, she cannot hold still!) until her granddaughter woke up.

When Emily did wake up, they headed out to the park and then abuelita and Emily entertained themselves in the living room for the remainder of the evening while I got dinner ready and whished a Merry Christmas to several friends on the phone.  I was even able to chat with my dear Miriam for about an hour and a half.  It was wonderful to be able to get things ready with no rush and without Emily getting her hands into everything.  I was so inspired, I even decided to whip up some brownies for dessert...at that point Emily came into the kitchen and when she saw the bowl of batter, there was no way she'd go back to the living room with abuelita! ;)

Angelines came home for dinner around 10 o'clock and then stayed home.  In past years, you may remember that she has a shower and heads back to open for the night...but Christmas eve night is not such a big bar night as New Year's Eve and for the past few years she's been saying that it's not worth it to open and "next" year she'll close. This was finally the year.  I set the table with our good china and we had a lovely salmon dinner with mashed potatoes and veggies accompanied by the customary jamón and cheese.  There were brownies and whipped cream for dessert.  Delicious.

This morning was especially fun since Angelines had been able to get to bed "early" and so wasn't totally exhausted.  She was really able to enjoy the magic of discovering gifts under the tree and in stockings with Emily. :)  We played for a while then had breakfast and headed to the bar to clean up before making our way to Tita Toñi's house for Christmas day lunch--another seasonal tradition.

Now I'm getting a few chores done around the house and will probably do a bit of work for my Montessori classes.  I am a bit behind and I need to use these days of vacation to get caught up and so must do a little bit every day or you know what will happen...!  I also want to make gingerbread, but maybe that's not in the cards for today.  We'll see.

It's so wonderful to be on vacation!  I feel like I've needed this break more than I've ever needed a break from work before!  I am basking in this moment of looking ahead to two whole weeks stretching out before me full of possibility... I know that inevitably the time will speed by and I'll be back to work all too soon and probably without having done even half of what I'd like to have done, but for now I am content to sit and contemplate all the many possibilities...and if I feel like just sitting and blogging, that's a perfectly wonderful way to spend an afternoon as well!

Memories...

Some of you will remember this video.  Bela was just a year old here... We cried when we took that snowman out of the Christmas box this year.

A Prayer for Bela-Rooskie

For three weeks I've had writer's block... but not for lack of things to share.  November 30th our dog, our first baby, Bela, died.  I haven't been able to write about it; but writing about anything else seemed like ignoring the elephant in the room and a disservice to her importance in our home.

She's left a huge hole in our hearts and home.  I tear up when I throw away the cheese rinds I would normally have given to her, my schedule still feels strange without two daily walks; and when I do get out to the campo I swear I can see her running through the trees just ahead of me--I expect her to come panting up to me with her pink tongue hanging out, her Dobby ears pulled back in little half moons on either side of her head and her lips curled up almost into a smile.

I cannot push the button to open the garage door without remembering how she'd wriggle out before it was even a foot open to come bounding out and greet the car.  I expect to see her spread out in the sunny spots of the lawn on nice days and when I get up at night for a drink, I still automatically look to her corner by the fire hoping to see her curled into a sleeping ball.

We are very slowly beginning to heal.  She was hit by a train.  I am comforted slightly knowing that it was very quick and I'm sure she didn't suffer at all.  Angelines and I burried her by the tracks, something for which I am also very grateful because we have a place near home to be able to visit and mourn.  She was such an extraordinary dog that even other people have taken flowers to her grave.

This has been Emily's first introduction to death and it's been very interesting to watch her go through the mourning process.  We told her right away that Bela had died.  I am not a fan of those who hide death from kids with euphemisms or avoid the subject altogether.  She spent the first days saying that she missed Bela and asking where she was and why she wasn't in her house.  Then she started calling herself "heaven" and many of her animals die and are burried under blankets.  She happily declares that they're dead and then says she's visiting the grave and taking flowers...  She still gets sad, like we all do.

I am amazed by how deep her feelings are and how well she expresses herself.  The day after Bela died, we took Emily to put flowers on her grave and say "good bye".  She didn't want to say good bye, of course and I think was a little confused by the pile of rocks we were calling Bela; but before we left she bent down and gently stroked one of the larger stones saying, "Goodnight, Bela. Goodnight".  And then as we held hands on the way home she stopped and said, "I don't like missing Bela."  "Neither do I," was all I could answer.

Today I was going back through old blog posts and looking at videos and pictures from when Bela was a puppy.  I don't like missing her, but it feels good to remember all the wonderful times we had together and the pure joy and energy she brought to the home.

We love you Bela.  I will always remember you like this:

Emily was "painting" Bela's "fingernails" with chalk!

My girls: ready for adventure

Last year in the snow...