Only in Spain

Only in Spain can a teacher walk casually out of the staff lounge, glance across the playground and see a child's bare butt through the open door of the bathroom! Pretty amazing, huh? In general, little kids are really unembarrassed about their bodies. I mean to say that I don't think that's particular of Spain; however it is particular to Spain the way that adults react to things that my American self sees as lawsuits waiting to happen.

I suppose the bare bottom incident wouldn't be a lawsuit in the U.S. but I think it's hard to imagine any American kid running around in the bathroom with his/her pants around the knees with the door open, right? Maybe it's just been too long since I've been in an American elementary school.

Here's a better example: last week on the playground as I was making my way to the staff room, a first grade boy asked me to zip his fly. I had the twinge of a thought--pedophile--before I remembered I was in Spain where teachers openly hug, kiss and I'm pretty sure even wipe kid's rear ends. I zipped his pants and no one thought twice about it (except me).

There's another incident. I had a little boy (first grade again) ask me to wipe his bottom a few weeks ago. That, was something I was pretty sure I should at least find a man to do...just didn't feel right for me to do the job. Anyway, when I went looking for someone else, I ran into another teacher who asked what the problem was. When I explained the situation, she reprimanded the kid and walked him back to class. So I guess, there is a line somewhere... ;)

In general, I think it's really great that teachers don't live in constant fear of being accused of sexually abusing their students, although for me it's still a little strange when I see male teachers kissing their female students (cheeks of course). It's just natural. Of course the majority of us are normal people who would never even think of molesting a child. I think in this specific aspect, the American system is very flawed and goes completely against the idea of being innocent until proven guilty. I remember in the States some of my college professors even wouldn't have meetings with students if the door was closed!

Kids need love and nurturing. And especially when it seems as though there are more and more cases of kids who aren't given that kind of love and support at home, it's even more important for them to get it at school. We all know how good hugs and physical touch are for our health, so why are we so against it in schools, the institutions that are forming our future citizens? Wouldn't it be a good thing if they learned to care for and love each other?

I suppose it has a lot to do with the children's age, too. Obviously sixth grade girls aren't running up to their teachers and giving hugs and kisses; however, it wouldn't be at all abnormal for a teacher of either sex to give a student (of either sex) two kisses on the student's birthday. And in the streets it's normal that if you remotely know a kid you give them a kiss or ask for a kiss...especially if you buy them a toy from the ubiquitous one-euro vending machines!

This is one area specifically where I hope Spain can hold out against the increasing global (because I do think it's becoming global) tendency to be p.c., to remove ourselves emotionally/physically from each other, or become overly worried about possible lawsuits. We aren't robots. We have feelings and needs and all of us make mistakes... and while it's possible that a pedophile make it into the education system and abuse our children, I believe that possibility is slim.

What are we teaching our children when we deny them affection? How will they know how to properly express themselves toward others if they haven't got any examples. I know I'm excluding a huge number of kids who have healthy family relationships, and I do realize that those kids can grow into emotionally stable adults capable of expressing their love, etc. But those kids who aren't from nurturing families? What happens to them?

I remember an interaction I had with a boy from England a few years ago and he confided in me that once he had reached a certain age, his own mother didn't kiss or hug him any more! (In the U.K. things are even more radical than in the U.S.) This came up because he was terrified about having a relationship with a girl who was really interested in him. He saw himself in a totally foreign situation: how should he express his affection? What was normal, what wasn't, where were the lines? And I can tell you right now that I met this boy's parents and they were not delinquent or strange or standoffish or what have you.

So there's some food for thought on a Wednesday night.

Besos ;) yes, kisses, from Spain.