Ramen and Rioja

It's just one of those nights.

My mom left some Top Ramen here over the holidays and my lack of culinary inspiration has led to my first bowl since sophomore year at Pacific!  My roommate and I used to buy huge costco packs of Ramen--your cooking options are limited when you've only got a hot pot to work with; don't judge.  It was a perfect late night study snack, right up there with peanut m&m's... (And I wonder why/how I gained so much weight in college!)  Of course, back in the day, a wine pairing wasn't legal, and honestly maybe it shouldn't be (!); but tonight it feels right to be sipping a good Rioja with my bowl of chicken flavored Ramen.  I've spruced it up a bit with carrots, onion and green pepper.  This is getting downright gourmet!  ;)

When I was a kid the super-long noodles in ramen soup were something that enchanted me!  Emily and I loved to play with them: we laughed at each other's noodle beards, slurpped up them up like Lady and the Tramp, we even swallowed them halfway and then pulled them back up our throats (extra points if the noodle didn't break in the process!).  I'm tempted to give it a try right now, but those things just aren't as much fun withough an audience.

Anyway, Angelines is at work and my baby's down for the count.  I have work to do, but I couldn't miss the chance to reminisce a bit over my hot soup before digging into reading for my capstone project--reading and Ramen...just like the good ol' days.

Cheers!  Hope your dinners are healthier!! ;)

A Crazy Week

Semana Santa is here again!  

Starting Wednesday, Angelines has been working from the early evening (4:30ish) through the wee hours, so Em and I have been on our own.  Although, as many of you who have visited me this time of year know, the number one tradition during Easter Week is to be out and about.  Staying at home is hardly an option. 

Things began on Palm Sunday when we met up with tita Toñi at the procession and then headed to the bar to see Mama.  Of course, we ran into friends and ended up staying for a drink.  Even Emiy joined in and fell asleep on the breast!

We had a little respit at the beginning of the week, but it's been go,go,go since then.  We got dressed up and went out Thursday, visited Mama again and then had dinner over at a friend's house.  Emily is a true little champ about all this being dragged all over kingdom come with me.  Of course, as long as her teta is handy, she's pretty much set.  She was getting tired (read cranky) by the time we arrived for dinner around 9:30, but we settled down on my friend's couch and nursed and things were fine.  She fell alseep and until around 11:30 we didn't head home.  

Keep in mind she's used to being put to bed when she falls asleep between 8-9 every night and then wakes up to nurse between 12 and one at which point she climbs in bed with me and there she stays eating and sleeping until around 7am.  Being out and about hasn't really changed her "schedule" (if you can say she HAS a schedule) per se, but it's true that she has been noticeably more tired in these past two days.  It's a lot of noise and a lot of stimuli for a little one.

We went out for a mid-day beer yesterday and my poor baby just broke down when we were about halfway in to our first round.  I offered her the breast and she nursed some, but the racket and the music and all the people were just suddenly too much to take.  We threw back our drinks and headed for home in a hurry; but there are those who say, that's not the right thing to do: "she needs to get used to the noise!"...  Excuse me??  

(Aside: I have found that EVERYONE, regardless of whether or not they have children of their own, is an expert in child-rearing and will gladly share their wisdom unsolicited.)

I agree that she needs to be well-adjusted and ready for anything.  She certainly needs to get used to noise if she's going to live in this country!  But I also think she needs to feel safe and secure and know that her mothers are looking out for her well-being above all.  If she cries, it's not because she's trying to ruin our fun or because she's "not used to" the noise or being out and about; it's because she's scared or she's tired, or she's hungry or she just wants a little peace and quite.  Don't we all sometimes?  

You or I can pick up and leave when we get sick of being with people, and if we leave it's not beause we're not "used to" people; but my poor little girl is dependant on us to get her out of uncomfortable situations.  I'm not about to let her cry.  A baby gets accostumed to being out and about and in the middle of the noise and hubbub of life when she feels comfortable and safe, not when you leave her crying in the stroller while you have another beer.

This morning we met up with my sister-in-law and Angeline's cousin who's in town for a pre-lunch beer and tapas.  Little Emmy started rubbing her eyes--tell-tale sign that she's tired and on the verge--I whipped out her booby (they must think I only feed her when we're out!) and she was asleep in about 15 minutes.  She continued to suck and sleep until we were just about ready to leave; but she was happy and safe in the midst of loud Spanish voices, children running to and fro, parents calling after the kids, loud orders for more beer being called, strangers oggling her... In my opinon, THAT is how you get a baby used to being out and about.  When she woke up she sat contented for a while observing everything and then we picked up and came home for lunch.  Not asingle peep from her!  She's a trooper.

Today is the last procession here in town and I was originally planning to just stay home and not interrupt my little girl's habbits again, but we've been invited to dinner at another friend's house and I think unless she gets really sleepy/crabby right about the time we need to leave, I'll plan to feed her there and let her take her first few hours of sleep "in the street," so to speak.  So it looks like Emily's first Semana Santa will be celebrated to the bitter end. ;)

And now the part you all REALLY care about: pictures! 

Thursday we stopped by to see Mama at work.

The cutest nazarena in La Roda!!

Those of you who have visited will recognize her outfit: she's a little penitent!  Her Auntie Toñi couldn't resist making the tiny robe and cape for her so she could dress up for Friday's procession.  She made quite the spalsh when we went out.  Everyone was duly impressed, and when we met up with la tita I just had to say goodbye to my baby for a bit because Toñi was bursting at the seems with pride and I was practically running behind them to keep up as she whisked my baby off to be shown off! ;)

A very proud Auntie was showing her off to anyone who'd look!

As the evening wore on, Emmy got more and more tired, and as is the case for all of us, it's just harder to put on a good face for people when you want to go to sleep!  She will cry at the smallest thing when she gets so tired and it's no time to be passing her from person to person.  Baby holding was limited to her very small circle of intimate family--Mommy, tita and abuela.  They couldn't have been happier knowing that she was comfortable enough with them not to cry despite her sleepy state.

Grandma looks like she's about to burst with happiness. ;)

Jesús Nazareno practically knocking at the door...

Thank you

Today is St. Joseph's Day.  Joseph, being the the biblical Patriarch, also means today is Father's day in Spain.  Although my daughter doesn't have a father, so to speak, I would like to dedicate this post to her donor.

Thank you for making this miracle possible, for making our dreams come true.

Ode to an Anonymous Donor

Blue eyes.
Straight blond hair.
Height, weight and blood type.
Age thirty years at time of donation.

No name, no picture, no dossier.
No nationality, no IQ...
No "likes long walks on the beach"...

Nothing personal,
This is science:
A phenotype as similar to my own as possible.
(Am I having a clone?)

But...
We're told to
Never judge a book by its cover;
Beauty is only skin deep.

And...
(One more aphorism)
Actions speak louder than words.

A simple act--like so many others--with
Great consequences.
Did you consider the unknown future of the being(s) that would carry your
DNA into a new generation?
Did you worry?
Did you wonder?

I can tell you
Her eyes are a deep, inquisitive blue.
With a smile, they're electric cresent moons.
Pale dandelion fuzz covers her head.
She. is. Beautiful.

...And I hope,
That solidarity is hereditary
And altruism genetic.

Just for Laughs ;)

I think this one speaks for itself. ;)

One Year

March 7th, 2014 I had my first ultrasound.  I heard my little girl's heartbeat for the first time and suddenly my pregnancy became more real.  I still couldn't believe it, but there she was, just a clump of cells approximately the size of a blueberry--a fuzzy ball on the black and white screen.  Now, a full year later, I have a beautiful four-month-old human being in my life.  The changes that one year can bring are amazing and only magnified when I have photo evidence.

One year ago...my little blueberry.

How can anyone doubt this is a miracle?

In one of my classes a few years ago we watched a documentary called Rock-A-Bye Baby that demonstrates the importance of movement in child development.  The film is from the seventies and I'm sure there is more recent research on the topic, but I was amazed by the findings of Harry Harlow when he studied baby monkeys separated from their mothers.  When they became adults, the lack of movement (being carried on their mothers) as babies led to agressive and anti-social behavior.  The adult monkeys refused to interact with others, demonstrated signs of stress and repetitive rocking movements.  He paralleled this with studies of children in orphanages who demonstrated the same rocking and concluded that not only separation from the mother, but the utter lack of movement led to brain lessions and other developmental problems in children.

I am more and more interested (for obvious reasons) in early childhood development and have been reading as much as life will let me.  I just recently I came across this article which also discusses the importance of carrying your baby:  The Second Nine Months. The argument is that human babies are born "early" out of necessity because of our big brains.  All other mammals are more mature at birth than human infants.  Even baby monkeys are capable of holding onto their mothers as they swing through trees within a matter of weeks (depending on the species, some mothers have to hold the babies for the first weeks of life).  In any case, there is no arguing that human babies are totally defenseless for much longer than any other baby animals and the reason, it seems, is all in our heads.

Baby monkeys are born with a brain approximately 50% the size of their adult brain.  Baby humans are born with just 25% of their eventual brain size.  What does that mean?  Inside the womb, a large ammount of energy is put into brain growth, but because our brains are so big and because we walk on two legs and therefore have more narrow pelvisis, babies humans must be born before they reach that 50% brain-size mark otherwise it would be impossible to birth them.  The article states then that a baby can be considered to be "mature" when she can crawl because at this stage she could escape from danger on her own.  Most babies begin to crawl around nine months (thus the title).  The article calls this period the period of "exterogestation" and emphasises the importnace of contact with the mother and being held and moved as in the womb.

Although Spaniards are in general very against holding your child (you're going to spoil her!), I have insisted on holding Emily every time she asks to be held and I "wear" her quite often, too.  When she was just newborn I was using as stretchy wrap, and now that she's a little bigger, I alternate with a carrier that my parents brought me from the States.  It makes sense to me.  And instinctively when a baby fusses, we want to pick her up and calm her.  We rock and bounce babies without even thinking about what we're doing; and as I mentioned in my last post, the hormonal changes in a mother make her loath to separate herself from her newborn infant.  It seems nature's got it all figured out... we just have to use our big brains to set aside cultural norms for a bit and listen to our hearts. 

Pretty proud of this: wearing and nursing at the same time in the mall in Málaga!

On That Note...

Just along the lines of my last post, this poem popped into my head yesterday as I was lying half alseep after a great siesta with my little lamb curled up and nursing at my side:

Cleaning and scrubing 

can wait 'til tomorrow

for babies grow up, 

we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs,

dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby,

and babies don't keep!

My mom has this poem embroidered and framed at home.  I remember reading it as a kid, but of course I never really understood just what it meant.  Anyway, as I lay there in a sleepy stupor, I found myself repeating this poem in my head and just had to smile--I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!

Loving Life

A happy birthday girl!

I am sitting in my armchair (best purchase EVER!) as I do so often these days with a baby half-way asleep and nursing on my lap.  Does life get any better?

Today is my mother-in-law's 80th birthday and we had a big lunch in a small little town about half way between La Roda and the town where Angelines's eldest sister lives.  It was a surprise for the birthday girl and she teared up when, after pulling over with the excuse that Angelines couldn't hold it and had to go to the bathroom, all of her children and nearly all her grandchildren came up to the car singing "Cumpleaños Feliz...".  It was a good day.

Of course, Emily stole some of grandma's glory, but la abuela happily shared the lime light so long as she got to hold my little one. ;)  Her aunties were veritably fighting to take her in their arms, change her, put her to sleep...  The only time I get her to myself is when she's eating!

I really am grateful that my baby is so loved--any mother appreciates when her baby is propperly adored (warning a BIG but ahead); but I slightly resent the presumtion that my baby is a weight on me and everyone's doing me a favor by taking her off my hands for a time.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Emily had been sleeping in the stroller and when she woke up with a cry I immediatly grabbed her, sat her on my lap and continued eating one-handed (I'm getting quite good at this: right and left handed!).  Emily was perfectly happy, sitting calmly and observing the goings on at the table.  Not two minutes went by before my mother-in-law hopped up from her seat saying, "Here, give her to me and you finish eating "tranquilamente"... I resentfully passed off my baby, mostly just because it was la abuela's birthday.

The whole crew.

Later, when it was time to change her, my sister-in-law insisted on doing it.  The baby doesn't know her at all.  Emily was sleepy which means she was on the verge of being very crabby and a complete stranger, as far as she was concerned, was changing her diaper.  What do you think happened?  Right. A melt-down.

I know that I should be a better "sharer" so to speak, but what's wrong with a mom who wants to be with her baby 100% of the time?  Nothing!  It's totally normal...And like I say, the thing that bothers me most is the way the offers are made: as if they were relieving me of a burden!  If they just outright asked me if they could hold her, instead of pretending that they were doing me some kind of favor, maybe (just maybe) it wouldn't bother me so much.

 I am reminded of a blog post that a friend forwarded me a few weeks ago.  The writer tells about all the warnings she got when she was pregnant about what having her baby would do to her body, her sex-life, her sleep paterns, etc.  But no one warned her just how much she'd love her little one, or how amazing it would be to watch her baby grow on nothing but HER breastmilk, or just how special it feels to be the center of a little being's world...  It pretty much sums up my experience as a mother so far.

Sleeping through the party...

Of course there are times when little Emily is inconsolably crying and I am relieved for a moment to pass her off to Angelines, but even then it's not as though I get up and go into the other room to peruse my facebook page!  I'm sitting there anxiously looking at the two of them and wondering if I shouldn't ask for her back...maybe she'll eat now, maybe if I sing a few more songs to her...  And then, as this blog author puts it, you feel like a rockstar when YOU'RE the one to calm her down. :)  So even those moment of desperation are short-lived (at least with this easy baby!) and when they pass there's nothing but love and a big boost of self-esteem for mommy.

My in-law's can't seem to understand that I want to be with my baby girl when she's happy and laughing, when she's screaming and crying and when she's sleeping like an angel.  If she's happy of course there's no excuse not to hand her over for a bit.  If she begins to cry, they reluctantly give her back to me saying that she needs to "learn to calm herself with other people, too" (!), and when she's sleeping placidly, full of milk on my lap, they say I should put her down in her crib so she doesn't get used to sleeping on me!

Some day very soon my little girl won't be so little and she will probably want to spend all her time over at her Auntie's house (as my sister-in-law endlessly teases me) so what's wrong with taking advantage of the present?  Shouldn't I revel in these precious moments with my tiny daughter?  Shouldn't I hold her all the closer, knowing that pretty soon she won't need me so much when she cries or will be too big to curl up so nicely on my lap?

Babies are great for teaching us to live in the moment.  At this moment there is nothing I would rather do, nowhere I would rather be, than right here with her.

...and because I'm feeling in the mood for reflection, writing out a post to all of you tops off the moment. ;)