Compassion

When I cam home from work Monday, Angelines told me the following story:

She and Emily had gone to the park.  While they were there a morbidly obese little girl of between three and four arrived accompanied by an older sister.  She had trouble even walking because her little thighs were so big.  The dress she was wearing had a huge chocolate stain down the front.  She somehow worked her way up the slide, and after a long while of working herself around once she'd reached the top, she was finally able to get into a sitting position to slide down.  On the way down, however, the poor thing actually got stuck she was so fat.  Her sister had to tug her down the rest of the way.  The little girl then decided she wanted to swing, so her sister stuffed her into the baby swing (the kind that's basically a box to sit in) and the girl was happy as could be.

After some time when the elder sister announced it was time to go and began pulling on her sibling to remove her from the swing, a drama of tears ensued.  The older girl quickly gave up trying to extract her little sister and began to walk away saying, "Fine! Stay here!  I'm leaving!"  Of course,  you can imagine the reaction that got out of the younger girl, who couldn't, even if she wanted to, get out of the swing on her own to run after her sister!  She was bawling full blast at this point and according to Angelines, Emily was watching in complete horror as the whole scene developed--with eyes like saucers, she was looking back and forth between the two sisters with an expression of shock on her face.  I can only imagine what she must have been thinking.

Finally the big sister turned back and somehow successfully wrenched the little one free.  The girl was still sobbing, her face completely wet.  At this point, my extraordinary daughter stepped forward, taking the crying child's arm in her hands and gently gave this stranger a kiss.  Then, as she continued to stroke her arm, she said soothingly, "No llores, estás muy guapa." (Don't cry, you look beautiful.)

Tears welled up in my eyes.

Emily full of grace

About a month or so ago, Emily became obsessed with ballet.  I'm not even sure how it happend...but suddenly her auntie had bought her a tutú and the crown my mom bought her in January is now being put to regular use.  We even bought her a pair of ballet slippers (two sizes too big were the smallest we could find).  At some point, Angelines discovered the wonders of modern technology--wifi (read YouTube) on our new TV (thanks mom and dad). :)  She began putting on videos of classical ballet dancers and Emily went nuts.  She would stand for a full twenty minutes immitating the jumps and moves of the dancers to Swan Lake and the Nutcracker.

It warmed my heart to watch her earnest concentration and sometimes quite acurate moves, especially having grown up taking my little sister Maggie to ballet classes.  In my house, Christmas without the Nutcracker ballet wasn't Christmas at all!  However, for a few weeks now she seemed to have lost interest, moving onto other more exciting conquests--namely going to the bathroom on the lawn (!).

SIDE NOTE: Potty training is in progress and Emily is most interested in her peepee and poopoo.  The other day she pooped in her bucket outside and proudly showed me (yuck...I made Angelines clean it out).  Then on a walk with the dog she declared that she, too, wanted to peepee in the campo "like Bela".  She's taken to running around the patio naked since it's already very hot here, and loves peeing down the drain on the lawn.  I'm affraid she likes going to the bathroom everywhere but in the potty!  ...I'm hoping this is all part of the process.

Anway, back to what I was saying.  Her interest in dancing had somewhat waned over the past weeks, but this evening she put on her crown, tutú and slippers before dinner and asked for the "bailarinas" on TV--I was astounded by her graceful moves!  She's improved incredibly since she first started and it doesn't even seem she practices much.  Anway, here's my little Sugar Plum Fairy for you to see for yourselves. :)

Easter Eggs

Our Easter fun really started on Thursday when A good friend and her son came over to deccorate eggs.  This was a first both for Emily and 5-year-old Nico.  Last year at Easter my sisters were here and Emily wasn't old enough to really know what was going on so we dyed the eggs ourselves.  This year I wanted her to have some company, but of the people I invited, only Nico and his mom were able to come.  Easter is a busy time here and most people are ocupied with processions, etc.  Still, we had a fabulous time just the four of us (and Bela).  I was grateful for our little plastic table that didn't absorb dye!  The paper towels we used to mop up spills were almost too beautiful to throw away, and the eggs themselves came out quite nicely. :)

Thursday there is also another procession in town.  I was ready to clean up the egg paraphernalia and call it a day, but when Emily and I headed out to walk Bela and she heard the music in the distance, she began begging to go see the "pums" (drums).  Of course I caved in the end because I love that she is so musically inclined  So after our walk, we changed out of our campo clothes and got dressed up to go down to the main street in town.

At Semana Santa, at least in small towns like La Roda, there is always a man pushing a big cart selling junk snack food (generic cheetos, chips, nuts and gummy candies), cheap plastic drums and trumpets, balloons, and other random but equally poor quality toys.  His presences clashes full on with the religious esthetic of the festivities; but he is always there, tailing the procession through town at times, or parking for a while on a particularly busy corner to do business.

You can imagine that the streets are full of kids with their Sponge Bob, Peppa Pig and Dora the Explorer balloons.  They run around honking their shiny, plastic bugles and stuffing their faces with saturated fats and simple carbs.  This is one aspect of Semana Santa I absolutely abhor.  Aside from the obvious health reasons, I just hate the consumerist mentality that acccompanys these kinds of pointless purchases: buying garbage just because it's there!

On Palm Sunday, a friend insisted (against my pleas) on buying Emily a Peppa Pig balloon.  She had seen them, of course, when we first arrived at the procession, and had pointed them out to me.  My reaction had been simply to say, "Oh, wow!  Those are pretty, huh?"  But of course when my friend noticed her observing the balloons that some other kids were holding he said, "Do you want a balloon? I'll buy you a balloon!"  And so Peppa Pig was floating in our house all week and into the beginning of this one.

At Thursday night's procession a similar situation played out when another friend insisted on buying her a crappy little purple robot dog that yaps and walks.  It's eyes glow fluorecent green and it's tail glows red.  It wears a little pink hat and has a pink and red bow on each ear.  Everything about it is hideous!  It looks demonic and the barking is extremely annoying.  However, this friend's nieces had one each and when Emily was attracted by the obnoxious barking and deamon-green eyes, my friend of course decided that she must have one too.  This, in my opinion is far worse than the balloon--just a true piece of trash that costs a pretty penny and to top it all off is irritating!  But even threats that I was just going to throw it away couldn't dissuade her from her purchase.  We are now the proud owners of a possessed purple puppy.  Oh, and Emily also scored some nasty cheeto-type chips on the deal as well (those did get thrown out immediately).

You may think I'm extreme as you read this...  Or maybe you're shocked by the Spanish disregard for parents' opinons/preferences/values.  Yes, maybe I am a little extreme.  And no, Spaniards don't give a hoot about parents' opinions in these and many other cases.  Of course, niether of these singular incidents is going to corrupt my child.  I do know that.  But to my mind they are reflections of a profound illness in society.  Disregard and disrespect (because that's what it really comes down to) for parenting aside, I want to teach my daughter to value money and what it can buy.  It is not something to be thrown about thoughtlessly to satisfy a fleeting whim.  I want her to care for the things she owns, rather than getting caught in the throw away and replace cycle that consumes so many people nowadays.  I do my best to buy her quality toys, books and clothes for just this reason.  Above all, I want her to be her own person, not someone who looks at others and their belongings as a means to measure her own self worth. 

Admiring herself in the mirror

What really bothered me about both of these situations wasn't what was bought.  I actually, in some way was happy that my friends love Emily so much they can't resist buying her a little something special.  I know that their intentions were good, but then, you know how the saying goes...  It wasn't even that they completely and shamelessly were going against my express will NOT to buy those particular things.  No, what really upset me in each instance was the fact that they were foisting upon my daughter desires that she herself had not expressed (and which I'd just as soon she didn't!) along with a value set completely opposite to my own. 

If you ask a two-year-old, "Do you want a balloon?" you'd better be ready to buy one because of course the answer will be yes; but a child this age is too little to know in the first place that having one herself is even a possibility (unless you're already in the habbit of indulging your kid this way)!  I hate those kids who beg and cry and pull at their parents to buy them this or that, but it's exactly moments like these that create those future tantrums.  Emily would have happily played with my friend's nieces little robots and when it was time to go, that would have been that.  She would have admired the balloons from afar without a whimper.  But what my friends inadvertantly were teaching my daughter is that if someone else has it, she needs it too.  Disgusting.

 Sorry.  Enough raving...back to the week's celebrations.

Heading out the door.

I mentioned in a previous post that Emily was going to dress up for Friday's procession.  In her purple tunic and white cape, with those killer blue eyes and a big purple bow in her flaxen hair, she was more of an attraction than the pasos! (Is that blasphemy?)  Seriously, though, she was the total center of attention and loving every minute of it.  Everyone was cooing over her and taking her picture and she was telling everyone who'd listen how guapa she was. :)

Emily is a very sociable little creature, but I was surprised by just how independant she was during the procession.  As I said, she was talking up a storm and it didn't much matter to whom; but she was also going off with all kinds of people to look at the pasos or babies in strollers.  They weren't strangers, of course, but she's usually not so keen to just up and go with people who aren't family.  The nazarenos, the ones wearing tall, pointed hats with their faces covered, give out little pictures of the Virgen or Jesus to people watching; Emily collected about fifteen of these!

On Easter Sunday we ran into a friend from Seville and her family.  She has twins born just three days after Emily.  I invited them to come to the house for an egg hunt and was so happy they agreed.

Emily greeted the girls at the door with a chocolate egg each and then we hid our dyed eggs around the patio.  It was such a hit that we hid them a second time. :)  Then we adults spent the rest of the morning sipping beer and wine, munching cheese and picos and observing the three of them running around the patio, playing with (and sometimes arguing over) Emily's toys. 


The twins are in day care and anyway they have each other's constant company so they are very used to other children and the necessary possesivness that comes along with "sharing" toys when you're two.  Everything was mío, mío.  Emily (unfortunately) learned very quickly.  Even with a few scuffles, it was a wonderfully relaxing morning and such fun watching their little personalities interact.  

Happy Easter!

Sara, Eva and Emily :)

The Last Snow of the Season

Mama and Emily hunting for snow

It's Semana Santa and that means a week vacation for me! :)  I'm doing my best to milk it for all it's worth...sadly, tomorrow's already Thursday. 

Monday we went to the pool and got things taken care of around here: cleaning at the bar, stocking for the weekend, etc., Tuesday was a stay-at-home day (those are good now and again), and yesterday we took a day trip up to the mountains again.  We wanted to get in one last visit to Frosty Snowman before the season's over for good and I think we were just in the nick of time.  There was very little snow as we've had no precipitacion for several weeks now together with record high temperatures.  On the mountain it was only 16ºC and breezy--slightly on the chilly side--but on the drive home the car thermometer read 30ºC!  Even without the snow, I think the drive would have been worth it just to beat the heat!

As it turns out there was actually a great patch of grey-brown snow clinging to the mountainside on a perfect sledding angle.  Once again, we had out sturdy plastic sheet with us and got in lots more sledding even than last time.  The snow was actually easier to form balls with than last time, too, so we were able to quickly build a little family of miniature snowmen for Emily.  She for her part, was more interested in eating the filthy snow than anything else...so Angelines and I took turns sledding while Emily ate mineral encrusted ice off the ground. (I promise we aren't negligent mothers!)

Em's feet got wet so we slipped her mittens on for the walk back.

We packed a gourmet picnic and feasted among the rocks and scrub at the edges of our snow field.  As I said, the day was chilly with the breeze blowing, but the sun shone so hot that I was fine in a T-shirt with just a wind-breaker on top.  The icy snow did seem to penetrate more than the powder we had last visit.  We were all a bit wetter when we finally headed back to the car, but it was a fantastic day, and of course we had brought a change of clothes for everyone.

...And the rest of the week is going to fly by...

Midnight tonight is the beginning of the most important processions here in town and Angelines has dressed and gone.  It's the first time she's dressed in this procession in about 15 years she estimates due to conflicting work schedules!  This year she decided to close the bar.  I'm glad she's finally able to do it again.  Meanwhile, I am here with a sleeping baby waiting up for her return.

Tomorrow, aside from a procession, Emily and I are going to be dying Easter eggs. :)  We've invited a friend over, too.  Maybe we'll do some hunting in the patio as well.  Emily has become a Peppa Pig fan and recently saw an Easter episode in which Peppa and all her friends were hunting for chocolate eggs that Grandpa Pig hid.  She was pretty excited when I told her we'd do that, too.  At the supermarket on Monday we saw a chocolate Peppa Pig Easter egg and snuck one into the cart.  So Sunday she'll get a big choco-atay (her word for chocolate) egg surprise along with some good hunting fun.

Friday is the day that we've dressed Emily for the procession. It's silly, I suppose because she doesn't actually participate, but she's just so cute!  Her auntie got her clothes all put together this year again so she'll be donning the purple tunic and white cape again this year to accompany "el Anol" (el Señor--the Lord), Jesús Nazareno, during his procession through town.  All of Angelines's family gets together on Friday evening, too since the procession passes by her mother's house.  I am anticipating some homemade arroz con leche as an evening snack. ;)

The weekend will be spent cleaning up after what I hope will be some good nights for business.  It's hard to tell because even though there are loads of people from out of town, our bar is a bit hidden and people tend to stay with the processions.  We've made advertisements with maps indicating the bar, so maybe that will make a difference.  The truth is that plenty of people would actually not mind getting away from the crowds for a bit if they only knew where to go.  So Saturday and Sunday will be spent sweeping sunflower seeds off the floor and sidewalk...

And there goes my week.  It's great to be home though, just cooking and organizing and enjoying my girl and the good weather.  Even if we don't do anything else for the rest of the week, I'll be a happy camper.

Happy Easter, all.

Selfie on the way back. :)

Awe of Emily

Warning: Completely biased opinions expressed in this post.

Since her grandmother is my number one reader, I thought it wouldn't be totally inappropriate to spend a short post bragging about the most astounding little creature I have ever known: my daughter.  Emily amazes me daily.  She is talking up a storm in both languages and it seems like at least once a day she pops out with a new word that makes me pause and think, "Where did she hear that!".  I don't mean swear words, so far so good, on that front, just precise vocabulary that surprises me.

She continues to be an observer (like all kids, I suppose), but it is sometimes shocking to realize how much she sees in so little time.  Yesterday we drove up to a place for a coffee and in the parking lot were several truck trailers (without the truck attached).  We drove passed them and she says, "Mommy, this truck broken".  My jaw dropped.  On the way out after coffee, we passed a semi truck hooked up to it's trailer and she commented, "This truck not broken. Have lights."  Wow.

Last week we went to Málaga for a doctor's appointment.  The hospital is next to the metro station and I think I've posted about how much Emily loves the "train".  We couldn't leave without riding the train so we took the metro into the center just for a coffee. ;)

On board, of course, Emily always makes friends--people who smile or wave or playfully stick their tongue out.  I always encourage her to say hello and ask their name, etc.  We met a woman named Vicky on the way in and when we got back on the metro after having our coffee about half an hour later, the first thing Emily did was look around at the empty car and ask, "Where's Vicky, Mommy?"

Also on the in-bound metro ride, another "friend" asked her where she lived and she paused for a moment and then answered, "Poona Phoonah"  (that's "California" in Emily speak).  I guess she's got California on the brain ever since my parents left.  When she asks about them, I tell her they've gone home to California...

Unfortunately, I do not always record these little gems down as my mother is always heckling me to do--you'll forget it some day! And I know she's right, but sometimes it's hard to find the time to write it down.  Now it seems imposible that I'd ever forget all of this intrepid adorableness...but when I think back to when she was a newborn, I just have fuzzy memories and that was just two years ago!  Time flys, that's the truth, so maybe you'll be getting more Emily anecdote updates in the days to come. ;)

The Man from Minnesota

Nine years ago I was repeating my experience as a language assistant here in La Roda and found out there was going to be another auxiliar placed at my school.  My heart went out to this poor soul, landing here in the middle of rural Andalucía without a plan or a place to stay.  I remembered my first weeks in La Roda trying to decide where I'd be living for the next nine months, and immediately decided he should move in with me and Angelines.  At the time we were living in our tiny piso, but there was an extra bedroom and I convinced Angelines that sharing our appartment with this tall, Minnesotan boy, would be a great experience for all of us.  She had never lived "away" from her parents, so she was understandably wary, but my instinct was right on and the three of us forged a wonderful friendship over that year.

Adam moved to Madrid the following year and has been there ever since.  We have seen each other nearly every year since he moved away.  He's come back here more than we've gone to see him, but no matter, it's always wonderful to be together laughing and sharing stories about out year together in La Roda.  He was here in the beginning of my relationship with Angelines and he came to our wedding.  Two years ago he met baby Emily in Córdoba and let us crash at his place when I defended my capstone project to finish my Education degree.  The biggest moments of my life in España have been shared with him.

Last week we got a lovely package in the mail from Madrid: a handmade quilt for Emily from Adam's mother!  It is gorgeous and Emily loves it.  In a card with the blanket came the news that Adam and his partner, María, will be moving to Denver in May!  I was completely shocked; it felt like abandonment.  Yes, that is dramatic, but when I read the news a wave of emotion rolled over me and I wanted to cry.  It's true we don't see each other much and we rarely speak, but somehow it's been comforting all through my years here in Spain to know that he was just a quick AVE ride away.

I have wonderful friends here in Spain.  I have a life here in La Roda; but all that doesn't change the fact that I am American.  I'm not saying that my friendship with Adam is only a matter of being two Americans in Spain.  I am sure that we would have been good friends had we met in any other circumstances (or country, for that matter).  But the truth is that we do share a common culture, and sometimes no one can understand you the way someone from your own country can.

I remember my first year in La Roda I went to Granada to visit my host family.  At the time they had a young African American student living with them.  She was from Louisiana.  She sang gospel in her Baptist church back home.  Her life and upbringing in the States was radically different from my own, yet we stayed awake into the wee hours talking and sharing and venting and laughing about life.  I remember being amazed by how much of a connection I felt with that girl, a complete stranger, and knowing that 90% of that connection was a shared culture.

After the immediate impact of the news passed, I was of course excited and happy for my friend and his upcoming move.  He's given me new incentive to get to Madrid before May and also another city to visit and explore in the States!  We'll miss him.  I will miss him especially, but I know we'll see each other on one side or the other of the Atlantic in the not-to-distant future.  Good friends make the world smaller.

Cheers, Adam!

Portuguese Praias

The last weekend in February was a holiday weekend here.  The 27 is Andalusia Day.  We had Monday off work and Tuesday was the actual holiday.  You may recall that I have Wednesdays free, so it was a great break for me!  We decided that February was a fine month to skip out and close the bar for the weekend so we were planning to take about five days vacation...in the end it was only three.  At the last minute some people asked to "rent" the bar for a baptism celebration the Saturday before so we couldn't leave until Sunday after all the aftermath was cleaned up.  Still, it ended up being a much-needed get away.

We booked an apartment in Olhos de Agua, Portugal.  It was about a four hour drive (that's about our max. as far as driving goes--yes, we are admittedly wimpy in this regard).  We arrived at about 5 o'clock Sunday evening and once we got our things out of the car headed out to explore the beach nearby.

The decision to go to Portugal came about after my boss suggested it to me one morning when we were discussing plans for the long weekend.  We had wanted to go explore some of the more beautiful beaches around--Cádiz or Huelva--since there's not a chance we'll ever go in summer.  For one thing it's quite a drive: at least two hours each way; and of course in the summer those beaches are usually absolutely packed with people.  Not my idea of fun.  Still, they are famous for their huge expanses of beautiful, fine, yellow sand.  Huelva is also very well known for its gambas blancas (white shrimp).  But as the weekend drew nearer we were unable to find anything that looked acceptable and also allowed dogs (what's a family vacation without the dog?!).  Marisa suggested Portugal and when she showed me pictures from the beaches in Albufeira, I was sold.

On Friday morning I booked the apartment (!).  And Sunday we were on the road headed west.  The beaches did not disappoint.  They were amazing: great long streches of pristine, fine, yellow sand bordered by impressive multi-colored sandstone cliffs.  Knotty costal pines bent by the ocean breeze off the Atlantic covered the hills and the waves crashing on the shore were an enticing saphire blue.  It was very picturesque indeed.

Emily had just as much fun playing in the sand and the waves as she did sledding in the snow, and of course, so did Bela.  So in that respect, too, the holiday was a big hit.  Although the weather wasn't sunny, it also wasn't cold and we let her run around in just her onsie.  As the waves would aproach she'd squeal with delight, waving her arms up and down saying, "Water's coming, Mommy!" :)

We were a little disappointed with the apartment just because it was annoying to have neighbors who sounded as though they were right there in the room with you.  In general it was pretty quiet, but in an apartment building noise is inevitable.  We are very spoilt by the silence here in our home in La Roda (with the execption of the ocasional train) .

Most of our days were spent at one beach or another, but we did venture into a nearby village to experience their carnaval (mardi gras) celebration.  It was pretty cute/hokey and reminded me of the celebration in La Roda for King's Day in January.  Lots of people dressed in costume having a grand time on homemade floats pulled by very old tractors.  The highlight of the little parade were the donkeys that Emily got to sit on for a bit!  She was pretty cute, and as I crouched to take the picture telling her, "smile!" I could hear a whole gaggle of Portuguese women swooning over her. ;)

Wednesday morning we packed up our little apartment and hit the road as early as possible.  We wanted to stop in Huelva on our way home for a lunch that would include some white shrimp.  Just accross the boarder we stopped for café and had a little run along the beach.  It was the shelliest beach I have ever seen!  My mother, shell hunter extraordinaire, would have been in heaven.  The shoreline was covered with the most beautiful, interesting shells, and nearly all of them were whole!  Emily and I hunted around for a bit, but we couldn't stay as long as either of us would have liked.  After about another 45 minutes of driving we stopped for lunch and the famous gambas didn't let us down--they were delicious.

It was tough for all of us to get back into the routine of being back at home.  Emily was very sad when I had to leave for work Thursday morning and had several melt-downs throughout the morning.  I went to work dragging my feet, of course...but the break from our routine and the chance to spend some prolonged quality time together did recharge our batteries.  And of course, there's noting like a trip to make you appreciate your home.  It's good to be back.