Loving Life

A happy birthday girl!

I am sitting in my armchair (best purchase EVER!) as I do so often these days with a baby half-way asleep and nursing on my lap.  Does life get any better?

Today is my mother-in-law's 80th birthday and we had a big lunch in a small little town about half way between La Roda and the town where Angelines's eldest sister lives.  It was a surprise for the birthday girl and she teared up when, after pulling over with the excuse that Angelines couldn't hold it and had to go to the bathroom, all of her children and nearly all her grandchildren came up to the car singing "Cumpleaños Feliz...".  It was a good day.

Of course, Emily stole some of grandma's glory, but la abuela happily shared the lime light so long as she got to hold my little one. ;)  Her aunties were veritably fighting to take her in their arms, change her, put her to sleep...  The only time I get her to myself is when she's eating!

I really am grateful that my baby is so loved--any mother appreciates when her baby is propperly adored (warning a BIG but ahead); but I slightly resent the presumtion that my baby is a weight on me and everyone's doing me a favor by taking her off my hands for a time.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Emily had been sleeping in the stroller and when she woke up with a cry I immediatly grabbed her, sat her on my lap and continued eating one-handed (I'm getting quite good at this: right and left handed!).  Emily was perfectly happy, sitting calmly and observing the goings on at the table.  Not two minutes went by before my mother-in-law hopped up from her seat saying, "Here, give her to me and you finish eating "tranquilamente"... I resentfully passed off my baby, mostly just because it was la abuela's birthday.

The whole crew.

Later, when it was time to change her, my sister-in-law insisted on doing it.  The baby doesn't know her at all.  Emily was sleepy which means she was on the verge of being very crabby and a complete stranger, as far as she was concerned, was changing her diaper.  What do you think happened?  Right. A melt-down.

I know that I should be a better "sharer" so to speak, but what's wrong with a mom who wants to be with her baby 100% of the time?  Nothing!  It's totally normal...And like I say, the thing that bothers me most is the way the offers are made: as if they were relieving me of a burden!  If they just outright asked me if they could hold her, instead of pretending that they were doing me some kind of favor, maybe (just maybe) it wouldn't bother me so much.

 I am reminded of a blog post that a friend forwarded me a few weeks ago.  The writer tells about all the warnings she got when she was pregnant about what having her baby would do to her body, her sex-life, her sleep paterns, etc.  But no one warned her just how much she'd love her little one, or how amazing it would be to watch her baby grow on nothing but HER breastmilk, or just how special it feels to be the center of a little being's world...  It pretty much sums up my experience as a mother so far.

Sleeping through the party...

Of course there are times when little Emily is inconsolably crying and I am relieved for a moment to pass her off to Angelines, but even then it's not as though I get up and go into the other room to peruse my facebook page!  I'm sitting there anxiously looking at the two of them and wondering if I shouldn't ask for her back...maybe she'll eat now, maybe if I sing a few more songs to her...  And then, as this blog author puts it, you feel like a rockstar when YOU'RE the one to calm her down. :)  So even those moment of desperation are short-lived (at least with this easy baby!) and when they pass there's nothing but love and a big boost of self-esteem for mommy.

My in-law's can't seem to understand that I want to be with my baby girl when she's happy and laughing, when she's screaming and crying and when she's sleeping like an angel.  If she's happy of course there's no excuse not to hand her over for a bit.  If she begins to cry, they reluctantly give her back to me saying that she needs to "learn to calm herself with other people, too" (!), and when she's sleeping placidly, full of milk on my lap, they say I should put her down in her crib so she doesn't get used to sleeping on me!

Some day very soon my little girl won't be so little and she will probably want to spend all her time over at her Auntie's house (as my sister-in-law endlessly teases me) so what's wrong with taking advantage of the present?  Shouldn't I revel in these precious moments with my tiny daughter?  Shouldn't I hold her all the closer, knowing that pretty soon she won't need me so much when she cries or will be too big to curl up so nicely on my lap?

Babies are great for teaching us to live in the moment.  At this moment there is nothing I would rather do, nowhere I would rather be, than right here with her.

...and because I'm feeling in the mood for reflection, writing out a post to all of you tops off the moment. ;)