Breast-feeding--My Humble Opinion

A friend posted this article on her facebook wall the other day and I felt the need to respond; however, since then I've been mulling over this subject and it seemed like getting it out in a blog was the thing to do.  

First off, I do not like this article much. While I agree with the basic premiss: women should not be made to feel guilty for formula feeding their children. No mother (or father, for that matter) should be judged for their parenting-style choices (with the exception of abuse, of course) beacause as they say in Spanish, every family es un mundo. Only each individual family knows what choices, breast-feeding or formula feeding will work best for their children and lifestyle. No one woman should feel guilty or be made to feel as though she somehow loves her child less for choosing formula over the breast.

For me, breast-feeding is equivalent to cooking a really labor-intensive, gourmet meal for someone I love. Formula feeding would be equivalent to taking someone I love out to a very nice, gourmet restaurant. There is a great ammount of pride and pleasure that goes into breast-feeding just as there is when I spend all morning in the kitchen concocting something delicious that I know my loved ones will delight in. The food at a great, gourmet restaurant isn't bad, nor is it un-nutritious (in fact, they may use even better ingredients than I do in my cooking!), but it's not the same eating from someone else's kitchen. It's not the same eating food that you know was made just with you in mind, exactly how you like it; even if you can have the choice of ordering to your taste when you go out.

As a breast-feeding proponent, I am probably guilty of the kind of attitude of moral superiority that this article mentions. Breast-feeding has been and continues to be wonderful for me, for my baby and for our family. I so enjoy the moments when I am forced to set aside whatever it is I am doing to simply tend to my baby. Nursing Emily relaxes me. When I can allow myself a nap, I easily drift off with her on the breast; and when I can't, I enjoy a few moments of calm before I have to get back to the chores of my daily life. I have never intentionally been condescending towards mothers who formula feed, and if I make comments or suggestions about how to successfully nurse it is only because I find so much pleasure and joy in the intimate sharing that goes on between me and my baby that I think every mother should take full advantage of this biological miracle, too.

Nonetheless, as I have said, I do not like this article. To begin with, I do not see why an obstetrician is the best qualified to discuss infant nutrition. Yes, she is a doctor, but her field is concerned with women's health, not baby health. For a woman there are a lot of societal, psychological, emotional, etc. stressors that can make breast-feeding hard or impossible, but that doesn't mean that breastmilk is still a baby's best option. She claims the difference between breastmilk and formula is "trivial"--I strongly disagree. In my opinion, the immunoglobulin in breastmilk do not constitute a "trivial" difference from infant formula. Of course breastfed babies can and will get sick, but it is just as true that the defenses that a mother can transmit to her child through breastmilk are an important part of immune development for the future regarding allergies, asthma, and other pathogens, not merely a way of avoiding a few ear infections or a bout or two of diarrhea, as the author suggests.

And another key part of the article that doesn't sit right with me is the assuption that the choice to breast-feed comes down to a difference in nutritional value. Honestly, the fact that breastmilk is the best food for my baby is just a bonus to a whole slew of other (perhaps more important) reasons why I breast-feed. All loving mothers will bond with their children and granted that a bottle allows dad (or other caretakers) the chance to bond during feeding, I still cannot believe that it's really the same coming from a bottle--even if you choose to bottle-feed your milk! The feel of the breast, mother's arms, her warm lap, the smell of her and the feel of her skin...It's a sensory overload of love. 

I must recognize, however, that my not working has made all the difference in the success of my breat-feeding experience. Mothers who work outside the home have the cards stacked against them. While in the States I was discussing breast-feeding with a friend who is also a first-time mom to a now 14-month-old. He had just recently weened when I was there and she expressed her relief at not having to breast-feed any longer. I was shocked and saddend to hear her this, but as our conversation went on, I came to understand her perspective. She works full time. She had six weeks maternity leave and then was back at work pumping as much as possible to keep production up and be able to still feed her little one breastmilk. She confided in me that if formula had equivalent nutrirional properties to breastmilk, she would have formula fed in a heartbeat. 

Here I think it's important to point out that one of the greatest enemies of milk production is stress. Does my friend's situation sound stressful? The article mentions that not all women are able to produce as much milk as their babies need to eat, and cites that 5% of women are unable to produce the quantity of milk needed to keep their infants at a healthy weight. I am not here to check sources, but I think we should consider the posibility that this statistic is slanted:  I suspect that the number of women who cannot meet their babies nutritional demands would likely drop even more still (I don't think 5% is as significant as this author seems to), if they were freed from unnecessary stressors. Having a new baby is stress enough, if you add work worries to the mix and then concerns about being able to pump enough (by the way, pumping doesn't stimulate the breast as effectively as the baby does and so pumping itself can endanger production), it's a wonder that any mother is able to balance work and breast-feeding! 

While we're on the subject, pumping is a pain. I am only just now becoming familiar with it since I've started a new job (more soon), but I can assure you there is nothing magical about sitting around with a machine noisily extracting milk from your mammory glands. I cannot imagine pumping from work, much less doing it practically around the clock for nearly a year straight as my friend did. Of course, on the weekend or early morning and evenings she could "really" breast-feed; but when the family would go out somewhere, she prefered most times to take a bottle because she found it rather uncomfortable to pull up her shirt in public. She virtually bottle-fed her son breastmilk for his "benefit".  

I say "benefit" here because it's tricky to define what's best for a child. A mother transmits her emotions to her newborn. When she is nervous, the child senses that and when she is stressed, that too is felt. If breast-feeding is or becomes too stressful for a mother, does it counteract the breastmilk's nutritional superiority? It's not such an easy question. In any case, my hat's off to my friend for such dedication. I'm not sure I could have done that. It's a lot more of a sacrifice to do what she did then to simply pop a breast in the kid's mouth whenever s/he asks for it. 

Hearing her experience deeply saddened me because I know she is not alone; many women have similar stories. And I believe that celebrating breastfeeding week is exactly the kind of thing that needs to happen to make society in general aware of the importance of changing views towards breastfeeding. I don't think this because I consider formula babies to be malnourished or loved less, and I am very sorry that this seems to be precisely the message that many formula feeding mothers get.  By breastfeeding awareness I do not mean simply extolling the nutritional benefits of breastmilk (though they are far from "trivial", as I have said); rather I think we need to prioritize and give full importance to a mother's unique role in child-rearing. That means prioritizing the posibility to breast-feed her children in the working world. I'm talking primarily about giving more maternity leave (even if a woman chooses to formula feed, time with her new baby is critical for bonding). Making it easier or more comfortable to pump from work--specific time allowed for pumping and/or comfortable place to do it--is also essential. I know that the work conditions vary from job to job, but in general I think most of them can be improved when it comes to a working mother's rights.  

Breastfeeding awareness should be a revindication of the woman's fundamental role in the family. Formula (and breast pumps) have made working outside the home possible for many mothers, but that doesn't mean that these two rolls have been assumed without consequences for the family. I think that in a truly modern society we should be able to find a more equal balance for women and families in this respect. Pretending that feminism and women's liberation lies only in her ability to contribute to the workforce in an equal manner to her male counterparts is equivalent to cutting off your nose to spite your face (pardon the clichéd expression).  

Denying the imperative role of the mother in family is denying her very womanhood.  In our facts and figures society, it too often comes down to the statistics: breastfed babies show X fewer cases of Y disease; formula fed babies are twice as likely to suffer Z as their breastfed peers. But I want to make a call for us to throw aside the science and the "benefits" for just a minute to be able to revel in the amazing capacity of the female body to care for her child. Can we, if only for a minute, push aside the hustle and bustle of our day-to-day and just marvel as we watch our growing infants' eyes roll back in their heads in extasy as they take that first long draw on the breast? Can we slow down just enough to admire their small jaws working up and down taking in our liquid love; and cherish the beauty of their small faces as they finally release, with milk dripping from pursed lips, completely sated? If we do this, is there anyone who can resist the thought that female body is truly magical?

I don't mean to say that women who choose not to have children are somehow less womanly than those who have become mothers, or that single-parent families, or families with two fathers are lacking in something fundamental and are less important; but I do believe that if we are going to respect personal choices and prioritize family in our society, we cannot ignore the role that a woman can play in her family, and societal pressures, explicit or otherwise, shouldn't interfere with that. The article claims breast or formula feeding is a personal choice concerning a woman's freedom and each family's lifestyle. I agree; however, I do not think that the problem lies in a simple question of the food we feed our infants, but rather the deeper issue of how we have come to view maternity and child-rearing in general.  Therefore, perhaps it is not so aptly named, but I believe that breastfeeeding awareness week is something at the very heart of feminism and women's liberation itself, and it concerns ALL women, not just those who choose to breast-feed.