Classes

The new semester seems as though it's going to require very little study.  On the one hand that's a good thing, but at the same time, re-organizing my time to maintain efficiency when I suddenly have "free time" is easier said than done.  And the real crux of the promblem is class prep--how I hate it! 

Since I don't need to spend as much time on school work, I theoretically have more time to prep... but what actually ends up happening is I find some other completely low priority to occupy myself and push class preparation to the very last min.  This only increases my stress and the feeling that I am never on top of my game.  But it's also true, at least for me, that class prep. requires a certain ammount of inspriation.  I cannot just sit down and do it.  So sometimes I find myself in front of the computer without a clue as to where to begin and I just end up wasting time.  Usually I find something...or sometimes I just give up and sweep the floors or run a few shopping errands to clear my head.  But of course, this kind of "productive procrastination" can only last so long before it's actually down to the wire and I must have something ready for my afternoon classes.

I try to always be at least a day ahead of myself.  In general I'm pretty good at that.  The problem is what happens when I've finished preparing for the next day:  I lose all motivation to continue and get another day knocked out of the way.  Right now, for example, I am writing a blog instead of thinking about what on Earth I'll do with my Tuesday classes.  (And as I wrote that a churning knot began to form in my stomach)  I've had Monday ready since yesterday and so it seems I've been able to lull myself into a false sense of accomplishment--"I'll prep Tuesday tomorrow!"  Ugh.

And then there's the added problem that I am completely at my wit's end with one of my Tuesday classes.  No matter what I do, how I do it, what I say, or how well I plan; everything goes to hell after about five minutes (if I'm lucky!) of class.  Part of the problem is that the class is bigger than my others...but if I tell you how big, you'll laugh at me for thinking I can ever teach a class of 20+ kids in a public school!  There are only twelve kids in class (I'm ashamed to admit). 

My mom has very helpfully given me advice for dealing with difficult kids that she's used in the classroom or seen other teachers use.  I have looked online for idea for getting kids attention.  But as great as it all sounds when you read it online, and as great as I'm sure it works at C. Roy Carmichael Elementary in Portola, California...  None of you have ever seen children like Spanish children.  I am convinced that there are no worse behaved children on the planet than Spanish kids.  Seriously.  I can't begin to tell you why that is, I can only vouch that it is absolutely true.  Of course, not ALL of them are heathens; but even the best behaved Spanish child would probably stand out as rowdy kids in an American classroom.

This class has me completely perplexed, and honestly, if I could, I would just cancel it.  The trouble now is that I've had so many failures with so many different strategies that I've begun to look at is as just an hour I have to suffer through.  I have lost all desire to try to figure out something fun and motivational for these kids because I swear there is nothing in the world that will hold their attention.  Even the games that I think will be fun go sour pretty fast because they make fun of each other and gloat or cheer when a classmate doesn't answer correctly.  If it were my class in a real school setting, I'd do some serious team-work exercises.  But seeing as how I have them only one day a week for one hour, I don't see how I'd get very far with them; certainly not if we have to do the activities in English!

Still, I can't help feeling as though if only I were more creative, I could come up with some kind of solution.  I can't help feeling like a giant failure every Tuesday when another painful hour creeps by and it's all I can do to get half the kids to participate or keep them from hitting each other.  Thank goodness I end with a class that I love through and through (like I say, not all Spanish kids are inherantly bratty).  At least I usually end on a good note.

...And now I'm off to suffer through planning...